


Not an Angel

by sashocirrione



Category: Death Note
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Anal Sex, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bathing/Washing, Betrayal, Bittersweet, Blood, Captivity, Cheating, Deception, Disturbing Themes, Dubious Consent, Elevator Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Exhibitionism, F/M, Feathers & Featherplay, Feeding Fetish, Fluff, Flying, Food Issues, Gore, Gross, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Jealousy, Kink Meme, Law Enforcement, Love Triangle, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Ownership, Pain, Power Dynamics, Prompt Fic, Public Sex, Rape Fantasy, Rape/Non-con References, Resurrection, Rimming, Sexual Harassment, Sickfic, Stalking, Threats, Violence, Voyeurism, What-If, Wingfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-12
Updated: 2011-07-26
Packaged: 2017-10-20 08:26:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/210760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashocirrione/pseuds/sashocirrione
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light decides he wants an additional notebook in the human world in order to create more elaborate schemes, and Ryuk tells him that Light can get one, for a price. Light never thought the price meant he'd be dealing with an old problem yet again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Problems

**Title:** "Not an Angel"

 **Author:** Sashocirrione

 **Spoilers:** MAJOR Spoilers for most of the series.

 **Warnings:** NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual activities. Blood, violence and gore. Sexual situations of dubious consent (without informed consent). Sexual threats. Sexual trickery and rape-like imagery in the thoughts of one character. Forced addiction (not to drugs). Rimming.

 **Summary:** Light decides he wants an additional notebook in the human world in order to create more elaborate schemes, and Ryuk tells him that Light can get one, for a price. Light never thought the price meant he'd be dealing with an old problem yet again.

 **Pairing(s):** LightxL, also with an implied LightxMisa and maybe a hint of LxMisa

 **Additional Notes:** All canon events previous to the start of this fic have happened as normal. This fic is set in the second half of the series, but its timeline is a little bit fuzzy because canon events have little effect on it. The shinigami rules are expanded from those in canon and perhaps even contradicted a little (or, at the very least, they are interpreted in unusual ways).

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1: Three Problems**

Light knew he needed to do something about his two problems, his two very annoying problems.

Light had recently been introduced to Near, in the form of a garbled voice and an "N" on a screen, and Mello, in the form of a kidnapping incident and a single sketch of Mello as a child, drawn by a young woman from the same institute Watari had founded, Wammy's House.

It was like getting the L problem all over again. 'L, round two' was now in progress.

It wouldn't be so bad if the two problems had had nothing to do with L's history or if they were like most anti-Kira investigators, completely on the wrong trail. Then they could be more easily ignored.

But, no, sparring with them was required in some way and even though part of Light was looking forward to finally having a challenge again, part of him was tired, tired of fighting, tired of performing the contradictory roles of L and Kira at once.

This time things needed to be perfect. There couldn't be any early missteps that would leave even a hint of Kira's true identity, such as had happened with the original L. Enough pre-laid plans could defeat any opponent, and Light was determined to stay ten steps ahead of Mello and Near by figuring out exactly which plans to set in place before they were even needed.

To that end, there were many sessions of thinking alone in his room, with Misa banished on a shopping trip or out drinking with her actress friends, while Light thought with a pen in his hand, always with a pen. Even if he was just twirling it and holding it and occasionally scribbling abstract shapes onto paper (to avoid leaving any evidence of his plans), Light found he usually thought better that way. It was something that made him feel powerful, in control.

At one point, he'd almost created the perfect plan. It was so elaborate, with so many levels of defense against any kind of suspicion, that he almost scared himself. It was too perfect, yes it was. No matter how he tried to adjust it, there was always one central problem.

"Damn it!" Light said.

His only audience, Ryuk, leaned over Light's desk and said, "What's the matter, Light? Are you sweating because detectives are chasing you again?"

"No, Ryuk, you know me better than that. I just had the best plan I've ever thought of, but it needs more death notes than I have, or it won't work."

"Oh, is that all?" Ryuk said.

"Well, your buddies don't drop them on command. And you're not going to let me have your remaining death note, are you?"

Light almost hoped that he was wrong, and that Ryuk would do it anyway, out of curiosity alone.

Ryuk laughed and said, "You don't know me, or you'd never think that. No, my own personal death note is staying on my belt until I've had all my fun here."

"And you're stuck in the human world, so even if there were some way for you to get an extra death note from the shinigami realm, you can't go there."

Ryuk leaned down, his eyes glowing slightly, and said, "If all you want is another death note, that's something I might be able to get for you."

 _There's a cost, or he wouldn't be acting like this. How disappointing._

Light said, "How much does it cost?"

"Oh, it doesn't cost anything. I'll let you have it for the price of seeing how much entertainment you'll create for me once you have your new death note. I'm sure it'll be worth it for me. What do you say, Light?"

 _He's still hiding something. I know it._

Light said, "What would be involved?"

"Well, I've never exercised my option to reproduce, even though I've earned enough points that the king would probably grant my request. It isn't usual to reproduce in the human world, but there's no rule against it. The offspring would appear where I am, along with a new death note. All you need to do is wait until the new shinigami drops it or sets it down, then grab it for yourself. You would have another death note, but the new shinigami wouldn't even have one. They would be helpless and couldn't write your name."

 _But I would be stuck with another shinigami following me around. Would this one be less disciplined than Rem or Ryuk?_

"This would be a baby shinigami? Don't you need a female for that?"

 _I'll volunteer Misa if needed._

Ryuk chuckled and said, "No, the process is completely asexual, and the offspring will be an adult. I simply need to submit the right paperwork. It'll only be a few minutes if it works."

Ryuk was grinning like crazy, his wide mouth splitting his face ear to ear.

 _Is Ryuk this happy just at the idea of more entertainment? Something is still off, but my master plan is worth any price and Ryuk obviously isn't going to tell me. That's just like him. Well, I've kept two shinigami in line so far, and I've killed one of them. I can manage another. A young, naive shinigami is probably easy to kill if it does become a problem. All I need to do is to trick it into breaking one of the rules, such as telling me someone's name or lifespan that I don't know already._

Light said, "Okay, you've got a deal. Let's do it now. Everyone is gone so it will be perfect."

Ryuk grinned impossibly wider and got his own death note out of its holder on his belt and began to write. Light moved to try to see what Ryuk was writing, but Ryuk pulled the notebook up while still writing and tilted it, out of sight.

Ryuk said, "The king sees everything that is written in any death note. I'm almost done with my request."

 _So the death notes are communication devices, but just to the shinigami king? What else is there to discover about their powers that I can never learn by experimenting?_

Ryuk finished writing and then said, "It's best if you don't try to send messages to the king. If you wrote anything he considered insulting or annoying, he'd kill you and ruin all my fun."

Light sat back down at his desk, facing the room and waiting. His eyes scanned over the bed, the four walls, the door to the hallway, and the door to the bathroom. The new shinigami would appear within the room, right? The shinigami wouldn't be visible, at first, but the death note would be as soon as it dropped.

Ryuk's facial expression changed and his eyes fixed on something right next to Light's desk. Light looked there too. He wanted to reach out, to try to grasp, but perhaps that would be a tip-off to the young shinigami.

Ryuk said, "Here he is!"

Light's eyes followed Ryuk's gaze, estimating position. The unseen shinigami was on the move.

Ryuk made a little bow towards empty space and said, "Welcome to existence! I hope you'll like it here. Look around!"

All of Light's muscles were tense, poised to jump at the first sign of a notebook fading into solidity. His heart beat hard inside his chest.

 _What if he goes into another room before setting down his death note, or, worse yet, another apartment?_

An empty coffee cup left by Misa on the nightstand lifted into the air by itself, flipped over, and then was replaced. Moments later, a slim black notebook materialized next to it.

 _That's across the room. If I lunge for it, I might make the shinigami think his death note is valuable and make him grab it back before I get there._

Light eased out of his chair and then slipped onto the bed casually, his eyes averted from his target and his fingers itching in need. He slid forward and was almost within grabbing range when a hand suddenly had his foot. He glanced back at nothing. He tried to pull away but the thing was monstrously strong. His foot wouldn't budge even slightly.

 _Did I give away my intentions?_

Ryuk said, "Oh, that's my human. Be careful with him. If you seriously injure a human or kill one in an unapproved way, you'll die."

 _In another moment Ryuk will tell the newcomer about the notebook's purpose. But, I can't quite reach!_

The unseen hand was joined by a second hand, and after prodding sensations appeared at Light's shoe in several places, the laces began to untie themselves. Light pulled but it was like being held in a vice. The shoe slipped off and fell to the floor. There was what felt like a two-fingered grip on his heel and another delicate two-fingered grip plucking at his sock, pulling it partway off at first and then, at last, all the way. The sock flew across the room and knocked some books off a high shelf.

Ryuk chuckled and said, "You're stronger than you think, little guy."

Light said, "What's his name?"

"He'll tell you that, if he wants to. He'll be able to see his own name by looking in any mirror."

Something warm and fleshy pressed along the side of Light's bare foot.

 _A warm shinigami? What is happening?_

Ryuk said, "Yes, his foot is just like your foot."

After a pause, Ryuk said, "Nope, mine is different. I'll show you."

With a vigorous effort, Ryuk sat and began pulling off one boot.

 _Ryuk never takes off any clothing! It's practically a part of his body!_

In a few moments, Ryuk had revealed a bluish-gray narrow, pointed foot with clawed toenails. At last the grip on Light's foot released, and Light lunged forward across the bed on his stomach, touching the death note.

 _Yes! Now I own this death note, so it doesn't matter if the shinigami touches it again! As long as I don't verbally give it up it's mine forever._

A new voice said, "Why don't my feet look like yours, Ryuk?"

It was _his_ nearly toneless voice. Light rolled over in horror, beginning to understand, hoping that his guesses wouldn't be confirmed.

The view he got was not pleasing.

From the back, the thing looked almost exactly like L. It had his slouch, his spiky puff of peculiarly messy black hair, and his gangly, slightly oversized feet and hands. The only noticeable difference was the clothing, which instead of that costume of a loose shirt and jeans was instead white bandages wrapped over everything except the head, hands and feet, like a mummy.

 _L doesn't remember or I would be in more trouble._

Still, it was a shock all through Light's system, a visceral feeling of fear twisting in his stomach. The L-thing turned around and stared directly at Light with that trademark blank stare. It was his eyes, no mistaking it, no difference at all except perhaps looking blanker or more haunted. It was his face, in every way the same. Even the bandages, though they came up nearly to L's chin instead of the wide-necked shirts he'd preferred in life, showed an outlined shape of L's collarbone that was very familiar to Light.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

This story is based on a request on the Death Note Kink Meme 2. From the anonymous comments at that prompt, I believe that two other anonymous writers are working on their own fills for the same prompt. In order to not discourage them (I LOVE multiple fills and I think this idea is pretty cool) I probably won't upload the sex scene until after they've completed their versions. (Though if it takes a while for them to finish or if my willpower is weak, I might upload before those two authors do).

However, chapter 2, which is sex-scene-free, with just a bit of molestation, is almost finished and I expect that chapter will probably appear within a few days.

This particular prompt did something I like, which is it had two options: the requester stated that an author could go with the short version of the request, or with the longer, more detailed version. I like this because it's helpful to have a bunch of specific details about what the requester wants, but it's also nice to not be bound by those details if the muses seem to be pulling the writing in a different direction.

For my fic, I'm filling the shorter version of the prompt and I'm selecting some details from the longer version of the prompt, but discarding other details.

I do not expect this to be a long, plotty fic but to be perhaps four chapters total when finished, with more of a focus on interpersonal drama than on plot.


	2. Show Me Yours

**CHAPTER 2: Show Me Yours**

L said, "The human sees me now, doesn't he? Why is that?"

Forcing the tremble out of his voice, Light said, "I'm Light Yagami. I'm able to see you because I touched the notebook you left for me."

L hooked a finger in his mouth. Light wondered whether L's teeth were very slightly pointed, or whether he was imagining that detail.

L said, "Your name reads as 'Tsuki Yagami' and your numbers-"

Ryuk shouted, "Don't tell him the numbers or you'll die."

 _Damn! I almost got rid of him._

L said, "You keep saying things like that, Ryuk. I'm not sure if I believe you. Is there a way to test your statement without risking death?"

Ryuk shrugged and said, "I don't know. I guess not with the things you'll die for. I suppose you can test the things that only cause pain, and then you can believe the rest or not as you wish. Doesn't matter to me."

L turned directly towards Light and began advancing. As the thing crawled into the bed with him Light instinctively backed up. Ignoring this, L climbed on top of him and pinned him with an iron, merciless grip. Up close, L looked bigger than Light remembered. Yes, despite his slouch, L was certainly a little taller than he'd been in life.

 _Will he keep growing? Will he become as large and as monstrous as Ryuk?_

Light caught his breath, forcing himself to slow and not show fear as the shinigami straddled his stomach. It was obvious, as L's hands fluttered and swiped in the empty space above Light's head, that L was merely curious about the name and lifespan he could see. That was all he was doing. A harmless, childish exploration.

 _He has no sense of personal boundaries. I will have to teach him those, fast, along with teaching him to not touch the task force members or to touch items where they can see. Maybe if I turn him into a food addict I'll have more leverage. Yes, fruit or... or better yet, cake. I think that would suit him._

L said, "It is written as 'Tsuki' but pronounced as 'Light', is that correct?"

"Yes."

L's hands were on Light's shoulders again, gripping badly enough they felt they were about to form bruises. Light gasped and struggled.

"Light Yagami, where is a mirror?"

Light pushed back, like pushing against an iron wall, and said, "Let go!"

L obeyed.

Light pointed to the bathroom door, gasping, and said, "In there."

L got up off the bed.

Light said, "Don't do that again. It hurts!"

L glanced back, his head cocked to the side in a peculiarly L-like way, and said, "I'm sorry. It seems I am stronger than I expect to be. I did not wish to hurt you."

L drifted towards the bathroom, stopping halfway through the door and then becoming occupied with the wall when he noticed his arm going right through it.

While L became obsessed with poking his arm and then head in and out of the wall and Ryuk grinned, Light fished his cellphone out of his pocket and called a cake delivery service. There would be only a few hours of peace until Misa returned, and in theory any of the task force members might arrive sooner, if they felt like coming in for extra hours of off-duty work. Usually they didn't, but Ide and Matsuda were particularly unpredictable.

It would be best to turn L into a severely dependent cake-addict before anyone else might show up.

Light was halfway through the order of sending seven large cakes of various kinds when L finally made it that last little distance to the bathroom mirror and Light heard his mournful voice saying, "Why is my name only one letter? Just being called 'L' doesn't seem fair."

Light could see part of L's figure, leaned over the bathroom sink, when L suddenly gasped, a pleasurable, sensual sound. L said, "What... what is that? It feels... ah... it feels very good."

Ryuk smiled. Light kept talking on the phone but scooted to the further end of the bed to get a better look at L.

L gasped, "Ah, that's it! My numbers are increasing. How... ah, that's good."

 _His lifespan is going up!_

Ryuk looked at Light and said, "It's just like when we shinigami gamble among ourselves. The loser transfers years to the winner. I have plenty of lifespan and I've got the power to give it to another shinigami, if I choose. L would have died in a few minutes if I hadn't given him any lifespan."

 _Yes, of course you wouldn't want your fun to end so easily. What a pain!_

L said, "Don't stop! No!"

Ryuk said, "Sorry buddy, but I've got to keep some for myself. I gave you a hundred years, L. After that, you're on your own."

 _L isn't going to die from lack of lifespan during my lifetime; that's Ryuk's intention. Ryuk is teasing me._

L staggered out of the bathroom, looking dazed and bright-eyed, his normally pale cheeks flushed pink. He said, "I know that 'years' are a long time, and that 'a hundred years' is an extremely long time. I also know that 'a few minutes' is a very short time. How can I know these things if I'm new? For that matter, how can I speak without learning how to talk?"

 _He's catching on fast. This is the same L, even if he's innocent._

Ryuk said, "Every shinigami is created the way you are."

L stalked over to Light's desk and poked at the computer. He said, "I can almost think of the name for this."

L stretched out a long finger and tapped the glass of the monitor as he said, "There are pictures here sometimes, aren't there? There is something where you type and words appear, to communicate with others?"

Light said, "Yes, that's a computer."

The food service employee on the phone misunderstood and Light had to repeat part of the cake order again.

L said, "That's a cellphone. You are talking to some other human who is at a distance?"

Ryuk said, "Yep, that's it!"

L crawled onto the bed next to Light and crouched. Light finished the call and tried to put the cellphone away, but L snatched it to stare at the buttons and the glowing screen.

"This cellphone looks very annoying. Why do you tolerate it?"

Before Light could answer, L suddenly pushed Light down on to the bed with that monstrous, irresistible strength and said, "Don't struggle. I'll be gentle."

 _What is he-_

Light's eyes were wide, his breath caught in his throat. Fingers were playing with the buttons on Light's shirt. Long, spidery, strong fingers that ghosted gently, barely touching. In mere moments, L had figured out the mystery of buttons and was unbuttoning, starting at Light's throat.

"L, this is not-"

"Shhhh. This is clothing, isn't it? I can take it off without hurting you. Clothing is not like your skin, which must stay on."

"Don't-"

"I need to see."

L stripped Light's shirt halfway down, and then the fingers brushed along Light's shoulders and neck; soft, feathery touches.

L said, "I do not see any damage. Are you injured here where I squeezed you? Does it still hurt?"

 _It's only because he feels guilty. He doesn't know anything._

"It hurts a little," Light lied.

In a very earnest voice, L said, "I will be more careful in the future, Light. Even if there are no consequences for me, it is wrong to inflict injuries in any way. I feel this strongly. You should injure me to serve justice."

 _L still has a sense of justice, but it is yet unformed. It is something that I will shape. He will think the way I intend him to think._

L's earnest, innocent face was hovering just above Light's own, and L was begging, actually begging, for punishment. Light couldn't resist.

In a sudden movement, Light swiped a pen from a nearby nightstand and stabbed L in the wrist. L screamed and jumped high enough to crack the ceiling, raining down small chunks of plaster. Blood droplets spattered down, along with the pen.

L landed across the room, letting out screams amidst long drawn-out gasps. The wound was turning from red to pink and getting smaller.

 _Ryuk didn't have blood when the bus hijacker shot him, and he didn't have pain either. Is this just because L is a young shinigami? If I hurt him badly enough, would he not recover from it?_

With L's sobbing forming a delicious background sound, Light stared at the blood spots soaking into the blankets.

 _Is shinigami blood visible to others once it has exited the body? I should smuggle these blankets away just in case, though if any of the rest saw it, they would just assume Misa had had an accident during her period._

The sobbing stopped. L held up his wrist and said, "It healed, and it no longer hurts. This doesn't happen to humans, does it?"

Ryuk answered, "Nope, they're fragile."

A look of child-like wonder spread across L's face. It was strange and unsettling to see his expression so unguarded, so emotional, instead of the layers of masks Light was used to.

L stalked forward again, climbing into the bed and pushing Light down.

"No! This isn't-"

L touched a nipple and said, "This pink thing, do I have them too?"

Light said, "L, you are being rude! Your behavior is completely unacceptable!"

"In what way?"

L climbed onto Light's stomach and tugged at the bandages going around his chest. All at once, the bandages fell loose in that area, as if each tape-like strip had grown magically longer. There was still no beginning or end visible on any of them. L looked down at his partially-bared chest. Two nipples did peek through the gaps between the now-loose bandages. L played with them.

Light said, "Unless you get permission first, it is rude to push anyone down, it is rude to undress anyone, it is rude to touch human bodies or to look at them if they are undressed, and it is rude to touch your own body under the bandages if anyone else can see. We are done playing 'if I show you mine will you show me yours' and if you want to play with yourself, you'll do it where I can't see, okay? These things can actually be serious crimes."

L jumped to the other end of the bed and perched there, bird-like. He hung his head, looking ashamed. He said, "I'm sorry, I did not realize I might be committing crimes. I don't understand."

The loose strips of bandages in L's chest area suddenly tightened, once again perfectly following L's contours and hiding his nipples and chest skin.

Light said, "I will forgive you if you obey and listen to me in the future."

"Yes, I will listen and obey. Light, I am finding the beginning of my life difficult. If I am a shinigami, then why do I look like you, a human, instead of looking like Ryuk, another shinigami? My face is very similar to your own, as is my height and the structure of my hands and feet. I even have the pink things."

Ryuk said, "That's how new shinigami always start out. You'll look close to human, except for the wings you'll grow soon, until you start killing humans. Then you'll look less human the more you kill. After you've killed a few hundred, you'll look quite like me. If you manage to kill in the thousands, you'll look about as human as a spider does. If you kill in the tens of thousands, you'll be lucky if you look like a pillar of flesh covered with eyes. Of course, since I just gave you a century of lifespan, I suppose you'll be looking much like you do now for a long time."

 _This means Ryuk was a human once. Ryuk deliberately chose L to mess with me. Are new shinigami picked from anyone who has died, or just from those who were killed with a death note?_

L said, "Why would I kill humans? That's wrong, isn't it? Yes, it feels evil just thinking about it. Wait, earlier you said I can't seriously injure or kill humans in an unapproved way. Does this have something to do with that?"

Light gestured toward the death note on the nightstand and said, "That's the approved tool for killing. It's called a death note. I touched it so that I would become the owner and you wouldn't be able to use it to kill humans. I saved you from your own evil, L, and soon I will send the death note away, where you will never see it again."

L hooked a finger in his lower lip and said, "A shinigami steals years from humans, is that correct? But I was given years from another shinigami. Ryuk said something about gambling for lifespan. After I run out of years, could I gamble for more and avoid killing?"

"I suppose you could," Ryuk said, "but it wouldn't save human lives. The other shinigami you won from would just have to load up on more fuel to replace what they'd lost, so just as much killing would still happen. It wouldn't be you who was doing the killing; that's the only difference. Well, as long as you never lost a gamble. If you lost you'd have to choose between dying yourself or getting more lifespan by killing a human."

 _If I can trick L into gambling with Ryuk and losing, I might be able to kill him that way, if L still doesn't have any death note at that time._

L huddled in on himself and said, "That's not good. No, that's not good at all. I don't want to be a thing that kills humans."

Ryuk said, "Then die when you run out. It doesn't matter to me."

Ryuk walked close to L and said, "Actually, there are a few things about being a shinigami we should discuss in private, away from the human. It wouldn't be any fun if you die by accident soon."

Ryuk picked up L's curled form, easily hoisting the new shinigami to his shoulder, and said, "We're going to the roof, Light. If you go up there we'll just come back down, or we'll go into a different apartment."

 _What will Ryuk tell him?_

Ryuk grew out his wings and crouched, obviously ready to launch himself and his passenger through the ceiling.

Light said, "Ryuk, I'm offended. I've got a new shinigami in my care, and you won't tell me how to best protect him? It's not as if the rules are terrible secrets."

Ryuk laughed and said, "I haven't told you quite all of the rules, Light. Besides, some rules don't apply to him yet, or they only apply part-way."

In the next moment, Ryuk flapped up through the ceiling and they were gone.

Light scrambled to get out ordinary paper and write down directions for exactly how to set up his master plan. With L around, Misa would need to do it, without any verbal communication at all, and it was best to get it started quickly.

Five minutes later, Light had all the on-premises death notes and the written instructions sealed into a big envelope. There were a few modifications because of L, but most of the plan could stay intact. He called Misa and told her to come home as soon as possible.

The cakes had arrived at the door by the time Ryuk and L returned from their little chat. L was obviously sulking. Light made L carry the cakes into the kitchen and put them on the table, but L ignored them. While Light outlined a set of rules of behavior for L, he took out some plates, cut elegant slices of cake, started eating one himself and set the other in front of L.

Shivers worked through L's body and he hid his face between his knees.

Light stopped eating and said, "What's wrong? You should eat something. It's important to experience the pleasures of life. That way you'll feel better."

L muttered into his knees, "I don't like these cakes."

"You can't know unless you try."

Light moved to stand behind L's chair, cut a bite-sized piece of L's cake, and tried to feed it to him. L pushed the fork away.

"No, it smells funny. The smell makes my mouth wet inside."

"That's a good thing, L. Your mouth is letting you know that it wants to eat."

"No," L said, and gripped the fork tightly. There was no chance to win against L's new strength.

That only left cheating. With a quick movement, Light plunged his hand into a yellow cake with lemon frosting and then smeared it over L's mouth.

L rubbed with his hand and licked. His expression changed, his eyes suddenly bright and excited. He licked again, and began devouring the mess from his hand. He grabbed another piece and began eating it with a speed Light had never before seen in L. Human L had been someone to play delicately with his food for hours, hardly eating any. Shinigami L was eating cake by the handful. He finished the lemon cake and started in on a chocolate cake that was covered with walnut pieces and cherries.

There was a sound of someone unlocking the door. Light said, "That should be Misa. Stay here. If it isn't Misa, you absolutely cannot reveal yourself, remember?"

L stopped eating and brushed the crumbs from his body, going incorporeal to cause the last of the incriminating smears to drop away.

"Yes. I will obey."

That one word, "obey", sent a marvelous thrill through Light each time L said it.

Light hurried to retrieve the sealed package from the bedroom and rushed back just in time to meet Misa before she could enter the kitchen.

Light pushed it into her hands and said, "Don't act surprised, no matter what happens. There's a new death note and a new shinigami. You must take this package away immediately and follow the instructions. Don't linger here to chat, and don't say anything bad."

From almost behind Light's ear, L's voice said, "Why are you sending it away so secretly?"

Light said, "Shinigami, you might use it to kill. I am performing justice by removing the temptation from you completely."

Against orders, L slipped around Light's body and his gaze scanned Misa's form from head to toe and then returned to linger on her breasts.

L said, "Oh, he is a pretty human. I like the chest bumps."

"She," Light corrected.

L mumbled, "Ah, yes, the concept of 'female' seems nearly familiar to me now. It is as if I can almost remember it. The chest bumps are breasts, aren't they? Can I play with them? Thinking about them makes me feel like cake does."

 _L has a libido? But he has apparently forgotten about sex._

Misa said, "A new shinigami? How exciting! What's his name?"

"Misa, he's dangerous until you leave and follow the instructions. You'll be able to see him after you've handled his death note. Greetings can wait."

"Yes, Misa will obey. Okay, bye Light! Will you miss me when I'm gone?"

Light used his hands on her shoulders to steer her around and push her out the door.

As soon as she was gone, Light turned around to see L with that dreaded calculating expression on his face, one finger hooked into his lower lip.

L said, "That package was much thicker than my death note. What else was in it?"

Before Light could think of an answer, L let out a blood-curdling scream and dropped to his hands and knees on the floor.

The scream trailed off into hard panting. When L looked up, sweat beads stood out on his forehead.

L said, "My back hurts. Ryuk! Ryuk, you didn't tell me about this!"

Ryuk phased through a wall and said, "Your wings are coming in. Yeah, I told you. It'll hurt and it'll be a few days."

"You didn't say it would feel like this!"

"It'll hurt a lot worse! This is the mild stage, when the pain comes and goes."

There were two lumps on L's back, stretching the bandages upward. Light could see the tiniest bits of pink skin poking through the cracks as the bandages strained. There was something very satisfying about seeing L panting and in pain, on his hands and knees. Light reached down and touched the nearest lump. L whimpered and leaned against Light's leg.

The pain seemed to have driven L's earlier question out of his mind. Light used the extra time to consider various plans of exactly what L should be told, while he paid Ryuk some apples to carry L to bed, and then fed the whimpering shinigami three more cakes until he fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning, the weekend would be over and the task force would return. Unless L was perfectly behaved, things could go badly.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, I'm writing shinigami!L as a lot more naive than canon L is, because he is new and innocent. Light is, of course, very much making use of that innocence to further his own plans.


	3. Growing Wings

**CHAPTER 3: Growing Wings**

Throughout the night, it was odd to see L sleeping so much of the time. Because human L had rarely slept, and no shinigami actually needed to sleep, it seemed logical that shinigami L should rightfully be awake all the time. Light supposed this deviation from the expected was because of L's pain.

L was certainly in pain much of the time. L looked exhausted, his face strained and unguarded, his emotions showing easily, unhidden. Perhaps sleep was L's refuge from the frequent bouts of pain just as sleep was sometimes Ryuk's refuge from boredom.

Light stayed awake all night, fueled by cups of coffee that L also sampled and did not approve of. Light attended to L when L was awake and spent the rest of his time thinking, planning, and doing those few errands that were imminent and not assigned to Misa.

Along with making sure L would see him as a friendly presence, Light re-plastered and painted the broken ceiling, completely disabled the internet to make sure that L would not begin to educate himself from unapproved sources too soon in his development process, and sent the blankets that had gotten a few spatters of shinigami blood to an all-night dry-cleaning service that was very discreet. That would allow Light to discern if normal people could see the blood without tipping off task force members or any watchful enemies.

Every time Light brought L more cake, L smiled and accepted it gratefully. It was strange to see L like that, grateful, open and trusting. It felt somehow right, though, that L should be in such a position of disadvantage, and that he should suffer pain after all the sins he'd committed.

Light couldn't help but reach out on occasion and feel the growing bumps. They had continued swelling, and had made room for themselves on L's upper back, pushing aside the strips of bandages entirely. They were two mounds of bare pale skin that reminded Light of breasts, though they were not quite the right shape and were becoming more torpedo-shaped as time went on. They were enormously sensitive to the touch even when they weren't in a painful stage. Every touch brought at least a whimper to L's lips, if not a moan or a scream.

The wing-bumps weren't soft. They felt nothing like breasts. They were hard and swollen, the skin stretched rather like the skin on a belly of a pregnant woman, and Light could feel unseen structures developing inside - from his guesses bones and joints and layers of muscle and other tissue, all enclosed in fluid-filled chambers. Light envisioned it as two pregnancies on L's back, fetal wings forming in amniotic sacs. L was incubating his developing wings, and at some point, he would give birth to those wings. Would the enclosing skin split open for the wings to burst out? Or would it dry up and shrivel away? Would there be blood?

It was important to make sure the process didn't leave any evidence for the task force members. Light studied the wing-bumps and speculated, hoping to have plans in place to avert any possible problem before it could start. A quick phone call to the dry-cleaning place, asking if there would be extra charges for stains, alerted Light to the fact that L's shinigami blood had indeed become visible on exiting his body.

It was an extra issue to deal with, on top of all the other issues. L's different body would need to be monitored and studied. Unlike Ryuk, there was blood pumping through L's veins, and so any injury - perhaps of the wings bursting free at last - would need to be planned for and expertly hidden from unfriendly eyes.

Because of the wing-bumps, L couldn't lie on his back. He could only curl on his side or lie on his stomach. There was something very strange and powerful about having L curled close to where Light sat on the bed, L literally eating out of Light's hands and looking up with innocent, trusting eyes. L wouldn't let a single bit of cake go to waste. He licked Light's fingers clean again and again, and Light couldn't bring himself to tell L not to. No, it was important to develop a bond to control L, and it was also strangely fascinating to see him doing something so unlike his usual hands-to-himself behavior.

At least, certain kinds of intimate touching were tolerable for bonding purposes. It was fine if it wasn't as extreme as being pinned down and undressed, as long as Light knew _he_ was the one making the decisions. That made all the difference.

Whenever L was not in too much pain, he was full of questions. Light tried to exude an atmosphere of authoritative friendliness as he gently began L's education, feeding him answers with as much care as he'd earlier fed L cake. Everything had a purpose. L's early mental development needed to be shaped and guided precisely, but at the same time it was important that L should never be told anything that could be proven to be a lie. L's trust should never be shaken.

At first, the questioning was quite innocent. L had an endless reservoir of questions about things he'd seen in the apartment, or his guesses about very basic information extrapolating beyond what he'd been told. In particular, L was trying to figure out how Ryuk had been able to leave with Misa when his own invisible leash was obviously much shorter.

Light explained how a shinigami who was attached to two death notes held by two people could choose to follow either or to wander widely when moving between them. That Ryuk hadn't explained this detail gave Light hope. L had probably been told the bare minimum in the secret meeting. Tricking him into breaking one of the deadly rules was still a distinct possibility, though it would probably take longer than originally planned.

Light had at first considered that he might be able to kill a hopelessly naive L quickly, perhaps even before Misa returned. But it was now obvious that this version of L was too curious and was catching on to things too fast. It was beginning to look as if L might be around for a very long time, and that meant there was really only one story that would work with him.

Anything else was too risky. Light did not want to give L any slightest chance at victory. Not this time.

With an L that would be staying for a while, Light knew certain inevitable questions would arise:

 _  
**Why do your co-workers refer to you as L, which is not your name but is mine?**   
_

_  
**Kira is obviously someone with a death note, so why don't you tell the task force that you own two death notes and Misa owns one, so that you can generate more knowledge about what Kira could be doing?**   
_

_  
**Why are you hiding so many facts from the task force?**   
_

And then, there might be questions even worse, if one of the task force members happened to start talking about the old L and mentioned his appearance and habits. It was a subject that didn't come up often, but if it did, L would figure things out immediately.

It was completely unacceptable to have a nearly indestructible, immensely strong enemy who followed Light everywhere, even though walls. That wouldn't be allowed to happen. L must remain friendly and unsuspicious. The best lie would be something so close to the truth that it was almost true. That way, L would never detect the falsehood, he would remain trusting, and he could be gently educated until he became a Kira supporter.

By the time Misa returned, just a couple of hours before the task force was due to arrive for work in the morning, Light had an elaborate story ready, just waiting for Misa's arrival so she would hear it too and not contradict it later.

Misa entered the bedroom while L was asleep, lying on his side, shivering and unconsciously nibbling on one index finger. She stared at L's body in a hostile manner for only a few moments before her expression became neutral and schooled, her actress training kicking in.

Light said, "Misa, I knew you would arrive about now. Is everything disposed of as I asked?"

Misa was good at throwing off anyone trailing her, and she should have been able to do that and then complete every assigned task successfully in the hours she'd been gone. Light hadn't been able to check up on her progress because of the possibility that Near or Mello might have some way of monitoring her cellphone communications.

Misa replied, "Yes. He's... he looks so odd. What are those things on his back? It looks like parasites - two giant worms or something gross!"

Ryuk glided up behind Misa and said, "That's his wings!"

"He flies with those things?"

L's eyes fluttered open. He said, "Of course not, Misa. My wings are still growing."

Light said, "L, I think it is time I told you some things. It is almost too painful to discuss, especially for Misa, but you have a right to know..."

 _This should give Misa the proper cue that she's supposed to claim trauma and refuse to add any details later that might contradict my version. This way, Misa can't make L suspicious._

L said, "Go ahead, Light, I'm listening."

Light wrinkled his forehead and sighed as if very concerned, and then said, "First of all, for this story to make sense, you need to know what I do for a living."

"A career? That is so you can get money from other humans, and then buy cake and rent an apartment with a refrigerator to store cake in, correct?"

"Yes, except cake doesn't have a central role. In order to avoid dying, humans need food to eat, not just cake, along with needing shelter from the outside weather. What I do for my money is to work for the NPA, a police organization here in Japan."

"And Japan is a country that is similar to China but nicer in every way?"

"Yes. Most police officers work in a headquarters building set aside for the police to use. I work in my apartment along with other policemen who will soon arrive: Touta Matsuda, Hideki Ide, Shuichi Aizawa, Kanzo Mogi and my father, Soichiro Yagami. That's why my apartment is larger and has more rooms than normal, and why one of the rooms has all those computers and monitors. We do this because we are working on a top-secret case, the Kira case. Did Ryuk tell you anything about Kira?"

L said, "No."

Ryuk was smiling wider than ever, still standing behind Misa. Light shot Ryuk a glare, hoping Ryuk would get the message and not provoke any suspicion.

Light continued with, "Kira is obviously a person, or possibly several people, who uses a death note to execute criminals. For some years, ever since Kira first made himself known, there have been two justice systems in the world. One of them is the old system that is administered by governments, giving mild punishments to criminals and allowing them to continue committing crimes. The other is the new system under Kira, which results in death for all serious crimes and a seventy-percent reduction in the crime rate over the old system."

Misa suddenly chimed in with, "A lot of people say that Kira is the way of the future. Now there are hardly any governments left that don't support Kira."

"This is true," Light said, "and the Japanese government is the same. On television, when our leaders speak, none of them say anything against Kira, and it is technically illegal to pursue him. A few years ago, when it wasn't illegal, the task force was formed. That is the organization that meets in my apartment. We were sworn to catch Kira, and we still receive secret funding and approval through various back-channels of the government."

Light paused, hung his head as if in shame and said, "It's kind of embarrassing to admit it. I'm chasing Kira when most of the world says it is wrong to chase him."

The look in L's eyes was very intense. Light could practically see calculations occurring behind those eyes, hidden in their inky depths.

L pulled a finger out of his mouth and said, "Do you think Kira is doing the right thing?"

"I'm not really supposed to think about that, am I? If I think there is any usefulness in Kira, it could jeopardize my job and it would be a very awkward topic to bring up around the others. No, if I'm going to stop chasing Kira, I want it to be an honorable discharge - to wait until the Director of the NPA decides to shut down the Kira investigation and assigns all of us to other cases. To just quit in disgrace? That isn't a possibility, and it isn't my decision to make."

"Does Kira ever kill people who aren't criminals?"

"Sometimes, but only if they seem like a real threat. Kira does not kill those who merely speak out with dissenting opinions. There are several well-known journalists who have spoken against Kira for years and have not been punished. Kira is very lenient with ordinary people."

L was thinking then, a finger inserted into his mouth for constant nibbling, with that eerily familiar expression of deep calculations on his face. Light waited. Things had to go well just now. It was a very important early stage in L's process of forming opinions about Kira. Even Misa looked slightly nervous, and Ryuk continued to do nothing except grin maliciously.

L said, "Light, why should you worry about what other humans think of your actions? It seems pointless. If you don't want to chase Kira, then you should quit."

 _I was trying to nudge him_ _**gently** _ _in the right direction. Was my bias quite that obvious to L?_

Light sighed and said, "It isn't like that. Even if I sometimes feel as if the world is changing and I haven't caught up with it, this really isn't a topic I can afford to analyze in an unbiased way. I know my father would never quit, and I know that if the task force ever approaches Kira every one of us will be seen as a real threat. I can't leave my father undefended. I must work alongside him as long as our superiors allow us to chase Kira."

L said, "It could be interesting to catch Kira. This is a very mysterious circumstance, for the world to be controlled by someone who is unknown. Surely everyone wants to know who Kira is, and if he's been hidden for a long time he must be skilled at hiding himself, a truly great challenge. You might find him, Light. Your group must have a significant advantage over the rest of the world, to know about death notes and to have had a shinigami to study, now two. Is that why I was brought into existence? To be a subject of experiments to help find Kira?"

Ryuk said, "I don't know why I reproduced. I was just bored, that's all."

Light said, "You won't be subjected to experiments, L. You'll be safe here, as long as you let me protect you. The others can't be allowed to know about you."

L was starting to get that look in his eyes again, the look that meant his pain was beginning to return. Light reached down and stroked L's forehead, wiping away a few drops of sweat. A strange scent hung in the air, barely detectable. Was it coming from L?

L said, "I assumed that my role in experiments must be the big secret you were so concerned about telling me. Now things don't make sense."

"Things would make sense," Light said, "if you knew more about the history of the Kira case. You see, we have had deaths within the task force, five years ago, from getting close to Kira."

"Then you did find him?"

"Not exactly. We found a Kira, and confiscated his death note, but the judgments of criminals continued after his death, so it is obvious that there is at least one more Kira out there."

"Obviously," L said through gritted teeth.

The wing-bumps were pulsing slightly. A network of small veins was beginning to become more visible across their surfaces. Light wished Misa hadn't said anything about worms, because now his mind was imagining the two growths as fat, parasitic leeches, sucking the blood out of L to increase their masses. He wanted to banish that image from his mind. It was far preferable to think of them as giant, elongated breasts or as swollen pregnancies.

Putting a slight shake into his voice, Light said, "The events that led to four deaths... they were very traumatic for all of us. There was a great deal of internal suspicion, with every task force member suspecting the others of being Kira. This is why they don't know about Ryuk and I won't tell them about you or about the death notes I've collected. If they learned I had been hiding anything important from them, they would kill me."

"I see," L said, "if anyone in the task force was Kira, then it becomes a kill or be killed situation. Everyone would be anxious to kill Kira, even on a suspicion, because if they hold out for more evidence and they are wrong, they will die before they can collect that evidence."

"Exactly. I don't blame them for thinking this way. It is only self-protection. But this means I can't tell them anything about you, and you can't reveal yourself. The last time a shinigami appeared, the deaths happened so quickly afterwards, and so senselessly. It's difficult-"

Light choked a little, hoping that he wasn't overdoing the acting. But L shouldn't know the difference in any case. He had no experience.

L said, "Then you pursued some leads on your own and you happened to catch a few more Kiras? Confiscating their death notes and becoming an owner yourself?"

"Yes. If I had known more about death notes and shinigami, I would have taken a different approach, one where the other task force members would have been by my side and would have seen I wasn't doing anything suspicious. But now, after hiding these things from them, it would be suicidal to suddenly reveal them."

L said, "It sounds as if you did not approach the situation intelligently to begin with. Also, it sounds as if the task force members are terrible friends to you. The idea that your own father might kill you on a mere suspicion of wrongdoing, this is very troubling."

Swallowing the anger that threatened to rise up, Light said, "Yes, I'm afraid I often rush into things without a plan. But, still, I've been able to catch some Kiras entirely on my own and hide away their death notes where nobody will be able to use them. I'm not incompetent. I'm useful."

"Or maybe you're just lucky," L said.

Light bit his lip and then said, "The four who died, they were Aiber, Wedy, Watari and... and L."

"L? How curious. Is my name a common name?"

L sat up on the bed, though it obviously took an effort and left him looking more strained than ever, the growths on his back almost unbalancing him from his preferred crouch. Sweat was beading on his forehead even more.

Light said, "I... I cannot be completely sure of this deduction. Ryuk withholds information routinely; I believe it is something he does for fun. And yet, I can't help but conclude something. You look almost exactly like the L we knew, and you have some of his habits, and you have his name. Even though you don't remember anything, I think you have to be him, back from the grave."

Light could tell by Misa's sharp intake of breath that she was afraid. He ignored her and looked at L instead, at the calculating look combined with the growing pain that L must be feeling, as another cycle of wing growth proceeded on its course.

 _I had to tell him something like this. Letting him discover it himself would be a disaster, but this way, I led him exactly to it, as if I have nothing to hide, and I am molding his perception of the situation into something useful and harmless._

After a long, awkward pause, L said, "This gets rid of one troubling thought."

Misa said, "What?"

L replied, "I was disturbed by the thought of Ryuk being my father. With this new information, I can disregard that. Ryuk isn't my father. I have a real father and a real mother out there somewhere. Perhaps even brothers or sisters, and certainly there must be friends as well."

"As one of the precautions we took from the earliest days of the Kira investigation, everyone used a great deal of secrecy. Especially you. We weren't able to find out where L came from after his death, or to discover anything about him. I'm afraid we won't be able to find your family."

 _Is it possible that Mello and Near are his family? Perhaps younger brothers? L's probably an orphan but orphans can have siblings._

L's eyes looked especially haunted and pained, his expression lost and lonely.

L whispered, "Then I'm all alone? Nobody came for the body? There must be people somewhere who love me and would be very happy to know I'm alive."

Misa came forward then, all sweet smiles, and said, "We love you, L. Misa and Light are your friends."

She enfolded his startled form in a hug, and made a distasteful face behind his back where only Light could see it. Her hands twitched away from the growths. Obviously she considered them horrifying, but to Light they were looking more and more intriguing, like ripe fruits, destined to burst from juiciness. He found himself imagining what sort of wings would erupt. Would they be feathery wings, like Ryuk, or bat-like wings, like Rem, or perhaps something altogether different?

L started to sob.

He said, "It hurts. It hurts!"

Light entered the group hug, bent down awkwardly at the bedside, and said, "Don't worry, we'll take care of you. Misa will bring you cake and whatever else you need while I'm working. Maybe you can go to sleep again."

L said, "It's getting harder to sleep. I fear at some point sleep will elude me entirely."

Ryuk said, "Probably so. It just gets worse from here on. It'll get pretty bad by the end."

Light stroked L's bandage-clad side gently, wanting to touch the wing-growths but somehow it didn't seem right to do it in front of Misa.

Light cradled L as he pushed him into the bed, and arranged his nerveless, limp limbs into the most comfortable resting posture possible: L curled up, on his side. Light tucked the blankets in around L as the shinigami shivered and moaned.

Light said, "While other people are here, don't come out of this bedroom if you can help it, and if you do come out be extremely careful. Your blood is visible if you spill any, and I suspect if you drooled or allowed sweat droplets to fall or did anything similar it would also reveal you. If you collapse from pain in the investigation room, I won't be able to carry you back, and Ryuk would probably leave you there for the amusement. If the pain goes away and you're bored, you can play with the computer or read any of the books I have, and Misa can show you how to watch television with headphones so that the sound won't carry to other rooms.

 _The nonfiction books don't contain anything that could educate him along the wrong path, the internet is disabled, and the fiction always presents the best scenarios in favor of Kira. I can't really protect him from television without risking suspicion, but most of the news is pro-Kira anyway._

Light added, "And remember what I told you before. The outside corridor is fine and so is sitting on a window ledge or the roof, but if you go into another apartment that is a crime called 'trespassing' and it would be very bad."

 _I don't need him tapping into the internet with someone else's computer. He needs his basic underlying education first._

Misa waved her arms and said, "But, Liiiiight, I haven't slept all night and I'm so tired! How am I supposed to sleep with him in the bed?"

"Get the futon for the floor, Misa. But be ready to wake up and wait on him if he needs cake. I've left the number of a delivery service next to the phone."

"But all my pajamas are lingerie! How am I supposed to sleep near L in that? Eww!"

Light said, "It's simple. Wear my pajamas. They'll be big on you, but they won't fall off."

L interrupted with, "Can I watch? I'm curious about the female body. I've been developing theories-"

"No! Pervert! Misa will change by herself in the bathroom, okay?"

As soon as Misa had closed the door, Light reached down and touched one of the wing-growths. L closed his eyes and moaned, tears gathering on his eyelids and trembling there. Light could feel, for the first time, blood pulsing through the stretched skin that could barely contain L's developing wings. The veins had spread across the surface and become larger, more noticeable. The growths were warmer than before, perhaps feverishly so.

The experience made him feel rather odd. He pulled his hand back reluctantly and tried to avoid L for the rest of the morning. It was easy at first. L did sleep some of the time, and Misa cared for him to keep him out of sight as much as she could. L rarely came to the investigation room at first, but by the afternoon, L was coming into the investigation room frequently.

Light tried to not let his eyes go to L, just as he'd long since schooled himself not to look directly at Ryuk while the uninitiated were around, but it was rather difficult not to. A night without any sleep and instead full of dealing with the startling fact of L being back, it had drained all of Light's energy. That tiredness pulled at him, along with the worry that L would suddenly collapse into a screaming fit on the floor, as had happened several times already.

So far, L had always had enough presence of mind to keep himself incorporeal when it happened, but Light's breath still caught every time an oblivious task force member would walk directly through L's screaming, writhing body.

When L was around and not in pain, he tended to perch on the back of Matsuda's chair, like some predatory creature waiting and watching, imperceptivity overlapping with the man in the chair to almost seem like a monster formed of merged bodies. L drank in every detail of his surroundings and was scarily perceptive about every new piece of investigative information, every tiniest lead that might contain a hope of tracking down Mello and the stolen death note.

It felt almost like old times; working together, with L's lightning-fast mind zipping ahead, alongside Light's own, to reach the same conclusions before anyone else. Having the dead return was not good. It was positively spooky. Especially the dead who might let out a bloodcurdling scream at any moment.

L still had a surprisingly large amount of energy for asking questions during his pain-free moments. He particularly wanted to know things about the detective novels he'd managed to speed-read in the bedroom, though Light couldn't answer in front of the others.

Light choked on his coffee severely when L said, "There are many scenes in these books where humans roll around in bed together, but the wording is as if something has been deliberately omitted. It is such a strange thing. Is rolling around in bed fun? I have thought of several experiments to try, but Misa is no help. She gets angry and calls me a pervert, so I thought I would ask you instead, Light. When you're free, shall we try the experiments?"

Matsuda came up behind Light and thumped his back vigorously, saying, "I'm sorry, Light. Did I make it too hot?"

Light sputtered into his cup and said, "No, I'm just tired today. Maybe the stress of everything has caught up with me."

L said, "Perhaps you can tell me in code. I've been working on several coded ways of talking that I think you could learn quickly. Oh, but that reminds me, I've also been conducting experiments in the bathroom by myself, and I would like it very much if you'd bring me a book about human anatomy. The dictionary isn't helpful enough, and Misa won't answer my questions. I think my body is similar enough to a human body that I should be able to find explanations for certain phenomena I've discovered."

Light stared at L and wished the shinigami would collapse in a screaming fit, but it didn't work. Despite Light's wishes, L's earnest, annoying face was still hovering in front of him.

Matsuda said, "I've been thinking, and I recognize the clues. I figured out Light's secret!"

Light's muscles tensed as his father and Mogi turned around to look and Ide said, "What?"

Matsuda said, "Oh, I was just thinking about it when I saw Misa putting the futon into the closet this morning, and then both of them have been so tired and grumpy all day! They're having relationship problems! They probably had an argument, and they're not sleeping in the same bed, and Light won't go back there at all, not even to grab a comb!"

 _This works as a better explanation for anything odd around here._

Light said, "Yeah, you figured it out. We've been having an argument about how to paint the ceiling. Misa thinks I've painted it wrongly and I think the smell of the new paint is giving both of us headaches. I wouldn't be surprised if one or both of us end up sleeping on the futon in here for a couple of nights."

L looked impressed and said, "Light, you have an excellent mind for lies. I'm sorry I questioned your intelligence earlier."

It was a lie that served Light well over the next couple of days, as L's bouts of pain became more frequent and intense, at last becoming so severe that L did nothing except stay in bed, screaming, his supernatural vocal cords never giving out, laying on his stomach as the only possible position, the huge balloon-like growths arching over him. Light invested in ear plugs to sleep at night and Misa found an excuse to take off on a short vacation to Hawaii with two of her model friends. For Light, there was no escape possible. L was tethered to him. Anywhere he might go, L would be there too.

The constant screaming towards the end was so intolerable that Light at last gave up on getting any work done, announced he had a terrible headache, and sent the entire task force home.

When the screams stopped abruptly, the silence felt eerie. Light walked to the back bedroom, his feet sounding loud on the carpet, and opened the door.

The wings had erupted. They were huge and feathery, spanning almost from one wall to another. At the moment, they were simply draped limply, obviously with no strength being used to hold them up in the slightest, and they looked bedraggled, slick with bodily fluids and a few streaks of blood. Bits of shed skin were littered across the floor.

L looked rather like some forlorn bird having struggled on the beach away from an oil spill and then sprawled out to die. Well, except for the color. The glop on L's wings was mainly clear and mucusy, instead of the dark color of oil, and the feathers themselves were a golden-tan color, mottled, slightly varying in hue to form complex patterns on the wings. They were narrow, long wings, pointed like a falcon's. They were gorgeous, even in their wet and messy state. Light's gaze traveled along them from one side of the room to another, taking in every detail, imagining how magnificent they must look when clean and dry.

In the bed, L was panting hard, looking exhausted, even beyond exhausted. Sweat glistened on his skin and stuck his hair to his forehead in a wet mess as he glanced back over his shoulder at Light, only to let his head fall back to the pillow with a tired sigh. His bandages were in a spread-out condition, sprawled over the bed in long loose loops, showing wide slices of exposed skin everywhere. In particular, L's buttocks were showing, two surprisingly round, pink globes. Light couldn't help but think of what else was probably under there, shielded by nothing except L's body.

Light suddenly realized that he had a tremendous cleaning task to do. All the mucus and streaks of blood would need to be removed and disposed of. Flushing the evidence down the toilet would be best, just in case Near's spies were monitoring all outgoing trash.

In a few minutes, Light had left and returned with a bucket of soapy water, a bucket of rinse water, and several sponges. When he sat down next to L and began to clean the wings, L only let out a relieved-sounding sigh and said nothing.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Sorry that the sex isn't here yet, but it's nearly here!

Also, the fic ended up being more complex than I had thought; so I now believe it will probably be five chapters total.

I put a different explanation than canon about how Ryuk is able to mysteriously roam widely in the second half of the series, when both shinigami had been bound closely to the notebooks' owners in the first half of the series, and Rem's limitations in movement had been such a major plot point in those eight days after Higuchi's death.

Canon basically retconned Ryuk's wide roaming by having it simply happen without explanation in the series itself, and then introducing a new rule (that a shinigami could roam farther with permission from the human owner of its death note) in the supplemental material.

This different explanation is basically what I thought was probably happening in the series until I later heard the canon explanation, and I used this different explanation in my fic so that Ryuk can more easily be gone for the sexy times, but L can't get away from Light.


	4. Lovers

**A/N (Author's Note):**

Before you read chapter 4, I just wanted to say that I altered the warnings at the beginning of chapter 1 a bit, so if you are squeamish about anything you might want to go there and read the warnings first.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 4: Lovers**

As Light went to work, sitting on a chair with a long wing draped across his lap, he said, "Are you in pain any more?"

It was a few long moments until L spoke, and when he did his voice was completely devoid of that trademark toneless quality.

"It doesn't hurt, no, but I'm so weak I can barely move."

Light continued working along the length of the wing, cleaning each section in short brisk strokes in the direction of the feathers, squeezing out the mucus-laden soapy water into the correct bucket, and then using the rinsing sponge to follow, until the feathers were glossy and almost glowed.

During the process, his suit became soaked, and plenty of water dripped down everywhere, but that would be easy to deal with. The floor and walls had already been lined with moisture-proof tarps in anticipation of the worst-case scenario: some kind of bloody explosion. The tarps would make further stages of the clean-up easier, as well as fitting into the cover story about painting the ceiling.

As Light worked, he was already planning further how exactly to manage the event. The strips of discarded skin would need to be gathered up from the floor at some point, probably reduced to ashes within the apartment, and then flushed down the toilet. All the blankets would need to be washed, the tarps wiped down and put into storage.

And then there was L himself to deal with. Educating him was the right track to take and would probably turn him into a Kira-supporter rather quickly. And yet... and yet... there was always the lurking question of how fast L would catch on to the holes in the story he'd been told. They were subtle holes to spot, to be sure, and spotting them required more knowledge than L presently had, but, eventually, there was no doubt about what would happen.

L would figure out Kira's identity. L would know that Light Yagami was Kira, that Light Yagami had always been Kira. The only unknown was how much time it would take for the revelation. A few weeks? A couple of years?

If L began rebelling and educating himself in secret, it could be very quickly indeed.

Light finished with one wing and started with the other, efficiently cleaning each section as he moved further towards the tip. L helped very slightly, by lifting that wing a little instead of letting it droop limply. It was somehow exciting to at last see proof that L knew how to move them - that they weren't just dead appendages.

Light couldn't stop planning. Scenarios that had been building in the back of his mind half-formed for days were coming to the forefront, completing themselves into elaborate and beautiful schemes.

Yes, L was dangerously perceptive. Despite all the precautions taken with carefully constructed half-truths, it would still be a better situation to dispose of him quickly. L was careful about mentioning names or lifespans, and he wasn't yet in a position to kill an attacker because of a human he loved. Besides, the lifespan would need to be about to run out for that to even make sense, and L would need to own a notebook too.

There was another route to try, though it was littered with unknowns. Light was already imagining it quite vividly. The biggest thing in its favor was that Ryuk was a prude. It seemed likely that Ryuk hadn't mentioned the no-sex rule, or had perhaps mentioned it only in an oblique way. In any case, L still didn't seem to quite realize what sex was.

Did the no-sex rule apply to L presently? And, was that rule one of those that resulted in death for the shinigami?

In any case, the opportunity was too good to waste. There was nobody else around to stop it, nobody to find out. L was weak enough that this time might be the only time in L's life that there was any possibility of forcing the issue, if it came to that.

Light didn't think the situation would go so far that physical force would be needed. Grooming, enticement and trickery would be the best route to take. If L didn't quite understand what was happening, if he thought he'd asked for it...

The questions about anatomy could be used as the perfect excuse to start something, and then make it look like L's fault if things went sour.

Yes, that was how many human rape victims thought of their experiences, if their rapes weren't based in physical violence. It made sense to think that the same principles could be applied to a shinigami who seemed nearly human in most characteristics.

This way, if L objected to the advances, the sex could probably happen anyway and if he lived through it, he'd think he'd been giving confusing signals and was personally at fault. Light Yagami would emerge from the experience blameless and clean, without a vengeful shinigami determined to destroy him.

But L probably did want it. He had a libido, he resented keeping his hands to himself, and he'd expressed as much interest as someone who didn't know about sex could express. He should be easy to genuinely seduce, with the trickery held in reserve as a back-up plan.

Light finished cleaning, dumped both buckets into the toilet, and returned with a hair dryer. The wings dried quickly, soft and wonderful to the touch, slightly lighter in color than they'd been wet. The striking patterns especially stood out, ranging from a very pale golden that was nearly white to a rich caramel color, and every shade in between those two extremes.

Would L be able to shrink down his wings into little shoulder-poufs of feathers at will, or was that ability only for more advanced shinigami? Ryuk wasn't around to ask. Light didn't want it to happen anytime soon, though. L's large wings were very interesting in their present shape and size.

Light found himself fantasizing fiercely about an L who rejoiced in the sex, lived through it, and went on to eventually become a perfectly educated Kira supporter. L could be such a magnificent specimen, a perfect Kira's angel. Powerful, beautiful, intelligent and with supernatural skills, yet always under Light's heel, dominated so thoroughly and subtly that he wouldn't even realize it was domination.

The image of L as Kira's pet, a leashed and obedient angel, using his abilities for Kira instead of against... it was an unbelievably delicious thought.

Light placed the hair dryer on a nearby table and sat down at the foot of the bed, bringing one of L's feet into his lap. It was slippery with sweat as Light stroked it, massaging gently and, catching a strange faint scent again, he brought his moist hand to his nose and breathed in. It was spicy smelling. He snuck a tongue out and tasted it.

It was nothing like human sweat. There was an odd, pleasing taste, somewhat like cloves. After sampling it several times and rolling the flavor around in his mouth, Light decided that, yes, cloves was the closest earthly taste to it, though it was also slightly like cinnamon.

 _Spicy sweat!_

 _Humans get salty sweat, and shinigami get spicy sweat? Well, Ryuk doesn't sweat at all, so perhaps this is another peculiarity of very young shinigami._

 _L will be delicious to lick._

Light could feel his body already preparing for the consummation of his plan, his underwear getting uncomfortably tight. It was perfect and acceptable for his body to be so in tune with his plans.

He said, "L, I'm going to take off my clothes now. They're too damp, and I would like to show you some things. I'm sorry for not managing to get you an anatomy book. I'll get one soon, but, until then, let me make it up to you. Some of your questions are easier with live bodies and demonstrations."

"Thank you, Light. I don't know if I'm strong enough to sit up yet."

"Don't bother. Stay there, and keep your bandages loose."

Light caught himself, on the verge of asking L to spread his wings out to their full extent, but, no, that was an irrelevant detail. Even the idea of bringing it up felt a bit silly.

Light discarded his clothes in every direction, eager to start. He crawled up L's body, until his face was hovering over those two very pink, round globes, with only a few loose strips of bandages draped across.

 _However this goes, I must make this good for him. If he truly consents and lives, it'll make him more eager for future encounters and I can gain an emotional hold over him. If this goes into... non-consensual territory, his pleasure will make it easier to convince him that it wasn't my fault._

Light said, "I'm going to use my mouth to make you feel better. It might be kind of odd at first. Please stay still and don't resist."

It was easy to push the few bandages out of the way. Light's heart was beating quickly, his mouth approaching. He ran his tongue across the right buttock, savoring the clove/cinnamon taste of L's unnatural sweat, approaching his target slowly, and then, as L shivered and moaned underneath him, he put a hand on each round globe and spread L's cheeks, half-surprised to see that there was indeed a beautiful, rosebud-like pucker nestled deep into the crack.

Light steeled his mind, reminding himself that L did not eliminate wastes as humans did. L was like Ryuk, eating but never eliminating, a magical bottomless pit of a stomach. Rimming L was completely clean and would be an excellent technique for convincing him of the pleasure inherent in this part of his body, and it was also a necessary trick for if L should survive and ever want to reverse positions.

Yes, L would wish to be on top. It would be just like him to try that. But if L could be convinced that rimming was a necessary prelude to anal, he'd never be able to top. He didn't have the proper taste buds to rim a human.

With those delicious thoughts held in mind, Light closed his eyes and licked his target directly, tasting nothing except a hint of cloves/cinnamon and feeling the circular muscle dilate and close, winking slowly under his quick tongue.

L's breathing was getting heavier and he was squirming. Light pushed L's legs further apart and lay comfortably between them, attacking his target with wet strokes, alternating between long and short, smirking into L's ass as the sphincter's movements became more erratic and uncontrolled.

Wind blew around Light as L flapped his wings hard twice, sending papers swirling off of high shelves.

"Ah... ah..." L said, "is that... is that sanitary?"

Between licks, Light said, "Does it feel good?"

Secure and smug in the knowledge that L did enjoy it, that everything was proceeding exactly as planned, Light couldn't help but hoist himself up on his elbows and add, "Shall I continue?"

L barely got out the words, "Yes, please," and then Light saw a glimpse of L, perfectly framed between those wings, biting his pillow hard, fingers dug into the sheets and twisting, forehead damp with the special sweat that would be so delicious to lick right off. It was difficult not to lurch forward and penetrate him right then.

Resisting the urge, Light plunged his tongue inside entirely, into that warm, tight hollow that opened wide and squeezed shut in uncertain flutters as he fucked it with his tongue.

Inside L, it tasted exactly like kissing a mouth, smooth and wet and inviting.

 _I haven't even touched his prostate yet, and he's already like this. He's helpless._

Determined to make L even more helpless with pleasure, Light slid one hand underneath L's belly, searching, and almost immediately found a penis there under L's body, engorged already. L's hips made a little jump at the moment of contact. Light's fingers curled around the shockingly warm weight of it.

Light stopped rimming just long enough to say, "I am holding your penis. Have you been exploring it on your own?"

After a small moan maliciously provoked by Light's further licks, L replied, "I've... uh... I've found that it changes size but I can't get it to do anything else."

 _Perhaps he is one of those guys who can only get off to wet friction. Well, it's about time to get the lube anyway._

"Stay here," Light commanded.

It was difficult to pull away from L's warm, quivering, eager body, but Light managed to do so, bounding into the bathroom and snatching up a tub of petroleum jelly. It wouldn't do for a human partner, with its tendency to eat microscopic holes in condoms, but for a marvelously virginal and clean L it was the perfect long-lasting, thick anal lube. Rimming alone probably wasn't providing quite enough slickness for a pleasurable first time.

Light returned to find L rocking from side to side on his stomach, hips snapping just a bit, subtly rutting against the covers and with a finger adorably in his mouth as he glanced back over his shoulder, wings raised.

 _If this kills him, I've solved the L problem permanently._

 _If it doesn't kill him, he'll have more of a bias towards being my ally._

 _Either way, I win._

Panting, Light crawled into his earlier position, this time with fingers nicely coated, and he began giving L's penis the wet friction it must crave, provoking an immediate loud moan. L's entire pelvis starting rolling motions, pushing up into Light's hand, again and again. Light resumed the tongue-lashing of L's asshole, sinking his tongue in as deep as possible and then, when he could, replacing that tongue with fingers that he curled exactly into L's prostate, making the shinigami pant, moan and jerk helplessly.

Light wanted, wanted so much to suddenly mount L and start fucking him without any warning, but he couldn't quite bring himself to do it.

As if he were giving an order, Light said, "I'm going to place my penis inside you now."

L let out a shaky breath and in a low monotone said, "Okay."

A shiver worked through L's body from one end to the other. Light coated his penis liberally in petroleum jelly and mounted him, pushing forward, getting a faceful of wings just when the sensitive tip penetrated L, then stopping as L's muscles spasmed hard, making progress impossible.

Light spoke into the feathers, "Shhhhh! If you relax it will feel extremely good soon, I promise."

L seemed to believe that, and in a few delicious lurches Light was able to press his cock all the way in, completely seating himself in L's warm, slick, trembling insides. Something about the process was incredibly heady, Light's mind spinning, unable to focus. He felt as if he'd never been quite so hard in his entire life.

All he wanted to do was to drive his stiff rod forward, over and over again. The instinct was almost too overwhelming to ignore, but he waited, rocking just slightly in place. Light ran a finger along L's back, right to the upper part where the wings were fused to L's skin. It was especially pink just there and L moaned deliciously as Light fingered the area, feeling the place where bare skin suddenly gave way to an expanse of short, fluffy pinfeathers.

Suddenly L's insides felt different, more open, and Light took that as his cue, pulling back and slamming forward twice in succession, trying desperately not to come too early. It was still very, very tight. It felt better than Misa ever had. Feathers fluttered in his face, sweeping across vigorously and tickling, as the wings suddenly beat.

Light was almost ready to thrust again when L was suddenly incorporeal, and Light fell through his body to the bed below, overlapping him, with no feeling of L at all. He craved it, missing it intensely.

Light said, "That's not how you do this. Come back!"

With a strange twist over and through him, L flipped Light onto his back.

L was suddenly on top; solid again, straddling Light's stomach, wings spread widely. For a moment Light panicked that he was about to be penetrated, but his fears calmed when L raised up and reached for Light's erection, pressing it into himself bit by bit, panting and moaning as he struggled to impale himself.

When at last he succeeded, they both stared at each other, breathing hard. L had even more of that strange otherworldly sweat, running down his face and sticking wet locks of hair to his forehead, his stare intense. Light twitched his hips upward and a surge of bliss went through him as L moaned in an almost painful-sounding way.

 _This has to be good for him. L must become attached._

"L, is this, is this nice?"

L slid upward and then down, making Light grit his teeth to resist his impending orgasm.

L said, "It is strange, but... ah... I'm certainly interested."

After another experimental slide up and down, L grabbed Light's hand and placed his slippery fingers on L's erection that was highly visible, poking out through the extremely loose bandages.

"Stroke," L ordered.

The touch was magic. L responded to the hand rubbing his dick with a stronger erection and with watery pre-cum dripping out from the tip. After a few moments of the treatment he began hoisting himself up and down in a steady rhythm, thrusting Light's penis deep into his insides and then nearly out again, adjusting the angle, learning on each thrust, breathing hard and slowly.

And all the while he was staring into Light's eyes in an intense, maddening way - a frank, open, innocent, lust-crazed gaze that Light couldn't get enough of.

It suddenly occurred to Light that L was still alive, and it was good, a relief to think of L continuing to exist, not crumbled into sand. At last tamed and converted to the correct side, L would always be helping Kira. He would be in his proper place.

L's wings were spread widely as he slid himself up and down on Light's engorged, sensitive dick. It was like being covered by an angelic canopy arching above, the perfect view for when a god should have sex. Light was trembling from the strain of holding back on his orgasm, but L must come first on this important first encounter. Making L feel good was according to the plan.

In a surprisingly even voice, L whispered, "Did we do this when I was a human?"

"Yes," Light lied.

It was easy to say it, something that just spilled out of his mouth. Light stared up into those intense eyes, innocent and yet old, and L continued to ride.

"I... need... more," L said.

Light sped up his hand motions that had somehow slowed, almost forgotten, and L was trembling again, his downward thrusts uneven. A loud whimpering escaped L's lips and increased in volume, his wings flapping, the tips of the feathers sweeping along Light's sides and leaving goose bumps, and Light pumped and pumped with his hand until L let out a loud cry and began ejaculating.

Feverish and trembling, Light held up L's hips and fucked up into him relentlessly as L continued to whine and sweat and spill his own milky-pale fluid in further spurts.

He was so warm. Perfect and warm and clenching rhythmically inside in a way that was really too much, too much to handle, and then Light closed his eyes and came deep inside L, pushing, pushing, pushing everything he had into L in throbbing waves of hot bliss, unable to stop, unable to catch his breath. It was like the perfect completion of a plan, the best rush ever.

L was collapsing onto him, around him, limbs and wings tangled up and blankets and sweet-smelling sweat and loops of bandages with no end or beginning sprawled out everywhere, warm damp stomachs slipping together, and it was better than Misa had ever been.

L kissed him with hesitant lips, a slow, almost chaste gentle touching lingering on Light's lips, and then said, "That was a kiss," softly, in a wondering tone.

Light squirmed around, trying to find a perfect position. He could see the long strips of bandages receding, all pulling back towards L's body. L's hot breath was on his neck, L's chin resting on his bare shoulder, L's hands stroking along his torso, curious, exploring. Light was pulled into those very strong arms, enfolded and deeply snuggled, so that he was lying on his side while embraced from behind. The bandages were once again tight and form-fitting on L. One wing hung over both of them.

Light was acutely conscious of L's larger size. It was odd, almost a feeling of being dominated while cuddled.

L mumbled next to Light's ear, "I'm feeling very relaxed. It is as if I had increasing irritability over time, and then that irritability was all taken out of me with what we did. Especially at the end when I exuded that white substance."

"Semen," Light mumbled, though he wondered if that's what it really was. L's sweat wasn't a normal substance, so perhaps his semen wasn't either. Was it capable of getting a human woman pregnant? Would it, perhaps, taste like frosting?

L suddenly said, "What is the name for the activity we just did?"

"Sex."

"Ah," L said, "certain things make more sense now. The dictionary is rather obtuse on these subjects. This is 'afterglow,' isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And we are lovers."

Light's stomach lurched at that thought. L was just a quick fuck, an experiment that had to be tried. But, then again, there was a significant bonding potential in being thought of as lovers. And it would be something fun to indulge in. Watching L squirm underneath - yes, it was a very good way to pass the time.

Light said, "We are lovers, but we won't be in the future unless we keep it a secret from Misa. She can't know. It would hurt her enormously."

L sighed and nibbled along Light's shoulder, then said, "Are the feelings reciprocal?"

"What?"

"You said it would hurt her, and I'm experiencing a distressingly similar sensation. I keep remembering her kissing you and the mental image is causing evil thoughts in me. I'm evil to think these things about her. She is nice, and she cared for me, and she gave me cake. She talked to me when I was frightened and wiped my forehead with a cold washcloth. She hasn't done anything wrong, and yet I wish to insult her and make her cry. These thoughts are very disturbing to me. I should be willing to share, shouldn't I? I'm suddenly overwhelmed with possessive emotions about you. Would she think these same thoughts about me if she knew?"

 _Oh, that kind of reciprocal!_

Light said, "That's jealousy. It's an emotion that happens in situations-"

"A love triangle?"

"Yes."

"Hmmmm. Certain of the things I've read make more sense now. Logically, I know it is wrong to do anything to hurt her, and yet I am still experiencing these evil urges. What is the solution? If we both have sex with her at the same time, would it make everything better? I read women have two holes, so I could imagine how-"

"Misa wouldn't go for that. Also, technically there are three holes including the urethra, but that one can't be used for sex."

L snuggled closer and said, "I thought you might say she would refuse. Then it must be that the only solution is for me to police my behavior and to keep the secret?"

"Yes"

"I will be especially nice to Misa when she returns from Hawaii. She won't suspect a thing. Until then, I want to enjoy you fully."

One of L's spidery hands crept downward and poked at Light's soft penis.

"Not yet!"

L hugged Light close and said, "How long until you can stick your penis into my asshole?"

"It's... a variable time limit."

"Perfect. Then we should test my new body."

L sat up and loomed over Light, grinning.

L said, "I want to learn how to fly, where there is plenty of room. Let's go outside to a good place!"

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, I have something to admit; no big surprise here for those who know my habits: I mis-estimated the number of chapters and now I think there will be two more (for a total of 6).

Next chapter, a little more plot and some smut, plus a cameo from a very minor Death Note character. After that, the last chapter (basically an epilogue) to wrap everything up.


	5. Unexpected Encounters

**CHAPTER 5: Unexpected Encounters**

Light envied L, seeing how easy it was for L to clean up from the sticky aftermath of sex. The shinigami simply stood under the shower for a minute and then became incorporeal, causing all the water to drop away and resulting in an entirely dry and clean state. Even the faint scent of his spicy sweat was gone.

Light had observed Ryuk numerous times standing perfectly dry in the rain, so it made sense.

After the shower, L sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. If I had thought of this sooner I could have saved you a great deal of effort cleaning my wings."

As revenge, Light set him to work picking up all the scraps of discarded skin. Those couldn't be left in the open, if task force members should happen to return and penetrate to the back bedroom. It was unlikely, but perfect planners couldn't afford to discount even small possibilities.

When everyone was dressed and clean, the skin scraps were hidden in a box deep in a desk drawer, and the laundry was going, they started their trip. L was very talkative and stood with less of his usual slouch. The wings unbalanced him in the other direction whenever he instinctively tried to assume his favored position. He was taller and more regal as a result, an overwhelmingly large physical presence.

And yet he was childish and innocent, spending the trip down in the elevator with his top half incorporeal and stuck out of the elevator doors, calling off the floors as they passed, or knelt down on the floor of the elevator itself with his head through, saying something about the gears that Light couldn't understand due to the intervening physical matter.

Outside, L looked at everything, remarked on the people and the cars and every object he saw displayed in store windows. He preferred a perch standing on Light's shoulders, incorporeal so he'd have no weight, and repeatedly tried to launch off from there, gliding ahead, flapping but losing altitude anyway, and at last skidding to a stop on the sidewalk or the street, with pedestrians walking through him or cars driving obliviously right where he was.

In a low voice with his lips held still, just as he always talked with Ryuk in public, Light tried to warn L several times, but he was only able to curtail the behavior somewhat, not to abate it.

L only retorted, "When I'm incorporeal, I cannot hurt myself against surfaces, so there is no danger of leaving blood to alarm the public."

It was only a three-block trip that Light had in mind, but L stopped halfway there, tugging at Light's hand and excitedly pointing at a cafe with a large cake displayed in the window.

It felt almost like a date as Light took an excited, giddy L into the cafe, ordered slices of seven different types of cake, and selected a booth in the back where other patrons would not be able to see.

Keeping an eye out, Light fed L cake by the spoonful, ready to divert the spoon to his own mouth at the last moment if someone should appear. L made cow-eyes at him and ate in a way that seemed deliberately erotic; although, with L, it was hard to tell. Everything he did with his mouth had always seemed suggestive.

There were two slices left when a familiar face suddenly lurched into view. Light tried not to react, hoped she would go away, but she almost immediately said, "Light, is that you? Oh, I'm sorry. I usually take this booth for Thursday lunches. I really don't want to put you out, but I'm afraid my daughter will start crying if I make her move. Would it be okay if we join you this once?"

Just around the corner, a little girl barely old enough to walk toddled into view and grabbed her mother's hand.

 _I need to curtail this, unsuspiciously, before Yuri can say anything about the bus hijacking._

"That's fine, Yuri. Why don't you have the entire booth? I'm full anyway and about to leave. I'll just have the waiter box up these last two slices."

Light tried to get up but L suddenly launched himself through the table and pinned Light in place, sitting on his lap.

L said, "I'm not done yet. I want to finish my cake!"

Light breathed the tiniest whisper, "You can eat it outside."

L said, "No, I can't. There are too many people who would see."

Yuri had unfortunately taken the apparent silence and immobility as an invitation and slid into the booth across from both Light and L, helping her daughter up onto the seat beside her.

Yuri said, "What has it been, three years? Four? I think the last time I saw you was at Masato's graduation party, when you brought Misa Amane as your date and astonished everyone. What are you doing these days, Light?"

 _Why didn't I kill her a few years ago, just for insurance against this sort of thing?_

Light said nothing.

Yuri lowered her voice and said, "Oh yes, I remember now. You were thinking of joining the NPA, and they don't let officers tell anyone they're employed there any more, just in case Kira might decide to slaughter the entire NPA. So you must have gotten in? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You know I never let out secrets. Like that time-"

Light said, "It would be best not to say anything in front of your daughter. What is-"

Yuri replied, "Oh, don't be silly. She won't remember a thing. She's just a few weeks past her second birthday. Does she look older to you?"

"Yes, in fact, she does. How has-"

Yuri mused, "For all intents and purposes, we're completely private. It's sad the NPA doesn't allow anyone to chase Kira. You're so smart, Light; I know you'd have him caught in no time! Everyone thinks L is an idiot for being so slow. And you probably have really wanted to catch Kira ever since that FBI agent helped us and then later showed up on the news as being killed by Kira."

A chill ran through Light.

L muttered, "This incident isn't in your files."

Light said, "Well, anyone with any connection to the NPA was being followed by the FBI then. That's what my father said. There were twelve of those FBI agents and they ended up contacting hundreds of people."

 _I can't kill Yuri now. Most of the possible damage has already been done, and L has seen her lifespan. If she dies off of her schedule it will be obvious Kira killed her._

Yuri glanced over her shoulder to gesture at a passing waiter. During the momentary distraction, L gobbled up an entire piece of cake in two gulps, prompting the little girl to get very large eyes. He had nearly bitten into the last remaining piece when Yuri turned towards the table once more and he hastily retreated.

Light got up, monopolized the waiter's attention, exchanged just the minimum of good-bye pleasantries with Yuri, and then departed with the last piece of cake in a to-go box. L ate it during the elevator trip up to the destination Light had in mind.

It was a demonstration green roof, open to the public, located on top of a nearby business. Unlike a park, it tended to be fairly empty most of the time, though occasional tours would come through, usually later in the afternoon. It was one of Light's favorite places for thinking and getting away from Misa.

Most of the roof was covered in plants, with narrow stone walkways between them, ranging from garden plants to decorative hedges, flowers, and even a few small trees in large pots. Placards explaining the environmental and other benefits of a green roof were everywhere, and L stopped to read a few of them.

Soon, they were at the edge of the roof, where there was an encircling walkway and a railing.

Light said, "If you need altitude, jump from the roof."

"Don't be so obvious, Light."

L crouched cat-like on top of the railing, grasping with hands and feet, leaning forward, wings spread wide. He took a few big breaths, in and out, and then jumped.

Just as with his glides on the sidewalk earlier, he flapped and flapped and slowly went down. But then, before he would have reached street level, he began going up. Something about the rhythm of his wings' movement was different.

And then he lost it again and fluttered to the ground. It didn't deter him. L climbed straight up the wall like a superhero and launched himself from the roof again, and again, seeming to learn a bit more on each trip. Finally, he could fly up from the ground to the roof and otherwise control his direction in the air fairly well.

After circling the roof several times and landing in a few of the trees there, L at last settled on the railing next to where Light was leaning and said, "I haven't learned to hover in place the way Ryuk can, but I think I've managed the basics of everything else. The pain of growing wings... it was completely worth it."

Before Light could reply, L shuffled even closer, perched on the railing rather like a bird, and wrapped his arms around Light in a hug.

Into Light's shoulder, L said, "I find myself requiring sex again."

Light said, "Not here."

"Nobody is on the roof now, and if someone approaches, we can break it off. They can't see me, so-"

"I'm not going to get naked."

L said, "I've thought of a new type of sex. Use your mouth here."

And suddenly, L's bandages were loose and open just between his legs, and Light was getting a warm, stiff cock pressed directly into his face.

L said, "It's wet inside your mouth. I think it would feel good. Put my penis there."

 _Nobody could see this from the ground unless they had a telescope, and even then, it would just look like odd mouth movements. Even if Near's spies are trailing me, this means nothing._

Light said, "Fine, but don't push into my throat. Unlike with you, breathing is a requirement for humans."

"You can't breathe through your nose?"

"The nostrils connect to the throat," Light said, and then closed his eyes and gave L's cock a few preliminary licks to get used to the idea.

It jumped and twitched under these attentions, and L hummed breathily, his hands clenching and unclenching in the fabric of Light's shirt, then dipping right through the clothing to directly touch Light's back, caressing the skin. The wings also wrapped around Light, adding another layer to the embrace, also sweeping through the clothing to tickle and gently stimulate Light's skin, leaving trails of goose bumps.

Light wet the entire organ with his saliva and then, with two hands firmly around the base to give stroking motions that should hopefully satisfy L into not trying to insert the whole thing, he let the top half of it sink into his mouth, delighting in L's shivering, tasting the cloves/cinnamon just slightly and then a new flavor as the precum dripped into his mouth, something hard to identify.

"Ah!" L cried and crushed closer. He was trembling hard.

Light continued with the bobbing motions, trying to drive L mad with sucking and swirling the tongue across the sensitive, throbbing head, hoping he knew what he was doing without experience in this kind of thing, but it must be good because L was responding so well to everything Light tried.

And it was maddening, too, to feel the weight of his own growing, unattended erection and to feel L's hands and wings under his clothing, cupping his buttocks, feathers leaving trails of goose bumps all up and down his legs, L's wet lips pressing to his back. There was so much touching under the clothing, supernaturally penetrating, that Light felt almost naked, a strange and nonsensical combination of clothed and yet nude, fucking in public and yet fully decent.

With a sudden, strong grip of embracing arms and wings at once, accompanied by a loud whine, thick fluid was spilling into Light's mouth, strange-tasting as L pumped it in. Light swallowed and took more on his tongue with the next spurt, and then swallowed again, milking it out of L, licking and licking when L was done, unwilling to let even a drop of it be left on the roof.

It was good. It was a subtle taste, spicy again, and once more Light couldn't pin it down to just one spice. He thought that it was perhaps closest to a mixture of anise and caraway.

L suddenly jumped back, off the roof, and Light turned around to see a uniformed gardener staring at him. He rubbed his mouth slightly, licking his lips, and then nonchalantly walked past the gardener towards the exit. By the time he reached it, an entire tour of suit-clad businessmen had erupted out of the elevator and L was once again next to him.

L waited until they were in the elevator alone together and then approached Light, kneeling and suddenly thrusting both arms through the wall on either side of Light. The elevator screeched and quickly came to a halt.

L said, "The doors cannot open as long as it is between floors, correct?"

"Yes."

And then L's mouth was on the button to his trousers and on his zipper. Light helped him, eager to have his stiff need spring free. As his clothing fell around his ankles L's mouth went to work.

The penis head was protruding out of the foreskin and L seemed to know just what to do by instinct, because he slipped his tongue down into the tight place between the sensitive head and those last remaining folds, swirling around on every side and provoking the erection into getting longer and fuller, straining. Light could hardly believe how much he needed it.

And then L took it in all the way, into his mouth and deep into his throat, and Light thrust and thrust into the tight wet hole, feeling no resistance, and L was still doing amazing things with his lips and his tongue.

Light realized, then, that he had always thought of how talented L must be with oral in the past, every time the man had played in such sensual ways with his food. Light had imagined this act, of how it must be, though intervening years had pushed it out of his mind, and now it was happening, it was really happening.

It was everything he'd imagined it would be, wet and sloppy and skilled and tantalizing. And, oh, L certainly had no gag reflex whatsoever; Light could push into that warm refuge his penis so craved as vigorously as he wanted, and there were no consequences. L took it all, took it and took it and took it, his teeth and tongue and lips playing back, teasing and provoking.

Light could barely keep his knees from giving out, his entire body weak and strange as he leaned back against the wall and L relentlessly mouth-fucked him.

He had only barely enough control to mutter, before he came, "You... ah... you must swallow. It is a crime to... ah... to leave semen on an... elevator."

And then he was deeper than before, even his tightened, drawn-up balls partway into L's mouth and releasing, his back sliding down the wall despite his best efforts, L following him down, Light's hands tangled in L's fluffy hair as waves of bliss spurted, inside L. Light wanted it and needed it, and a final brush by those soft wings along his thighs brought a last exquisite peak to his climax, a short sharp burst of extra pleasure.

And he was done, panting, sitting on the floor with L's head in his lap, L gently cleaning him, almost too sensitive for the soft touches of tongue but Light endured it to get rid of the evidence.

Light had a little fantasy, of confessing right then that he was Kira, and L simply accepting it, as he should, and taking his place as a Kira supporter, as Kira's magnificent winged angel.

It was only a fantasy. The time was not quite ready yet.

At the end, L raised his head and said, "That doesn't taste very good. You owe me a lot of extra cake for requiring me to swallow."

Light had thought the rest of the way home would be uneventful, but L insisted that, as long as they were out, they needed to detour to a bookstore. It was only a short taxi ride to the nearest one. Light wasn't too worried about what information bookstores held. Most publishers self-policed anti-Kira viewpoints to a large degree, not because Kira habitually judged dissenters, but because there was always that chance, based on those few apparent innocents Kira was known to have judged, and hardly anyone in power wanted to take that chance.

Besides, Kira supporters had become a strong enough social force that their disapproval could have extreme financial consequences.

It was a medium-sized bookstore they visited, not too small as to be specializing in nothing that was needed, but not so large that it would be more likely to represent unfashionable viewpoints.

L selected a book for teenagers about the human body and sexuality, plus a couple of other anatomy books. Then he started in on books about the Kira case. Through the guise of giving advice, Light subtly guided him to most of the books that espoused a more acceptable viewpoint. Since L knew he wasn't allowed to pick up any book off a shelf himself, because of the in-store cameras, that helped a bit in gaining the upper hand.

When L had certainly decided on five rather thick books about the Kira case, he said, "I have been trying to figure out whether Kira is good for the world or not. There is a seventy-percent reduction in the crime rate, but it doesn't seem fitting to me that a course of action should be judged right or wrong based merely on numerical results. I'm trying to obtain a wider view of the situation. After all, I'll probably catch Kira. I must know by that time what to do with him."

 _What?_

Light forced his breathing to be calm and in a very low voice that wouldn't be picked up by the store's microphones, said, "Why do you think you would catch Kira?"

"It's obvious, isn't it? Your task force has more information on Kira than any other investigative team. Kira is going to act soon. With a death note in the hands of criminals, it is a situation he cannot tolerate. It fits his profile, and he must act if he is to keep the confidence of his adoring public. I will be in the thick of things as this unfolds, and with my unique insight into the situation and my abilities, I'll certainly prevail."

L suddenly leaned very near to Light's face, eye to eye, and said, "As soon as we've obtained a suspect or even simply a location, I want you to make an excuse to put yourself nearby on a stake-out. If I can get within range, I would be the perfect spy. I'll bring you whatever evidence you need. Also, there is one other thing."

L hesitated dramatically until Light gave in and replied, "What?"

"Ryuk hinted to me that he knows who Kira is. In my judgment, Ryuk seems somewhat on the dense side. With enough tricks, incentives, or time, I am sure I can get the truth out of him."

"Oh, that," Light said dismissively, "don't believe Ryuk. He teases about things like that constantly. I never know if he's serious or merely trying to create drama."

L blinked, looking disappointed for a few moments, and then his eyes caught something on a higher shelf and he stretched up onto his tip-toes to tap at it.

It was a book titled, _The Real Truth About the Great Detective L_.

"Buy this," L said.

"No," Light whispered, "that's just a stupid piece of sensationalism, no better than tabloid articles. It's ninety-nine percent speculation, speculation based on fewer facts than we have at the computers at headquarters."

"There might be something in there that would be meaningless to you or the general public, but that could put me on the track to finding my family. Perhaps I'll remember some details of my former life. I've been over all the data you have. It's a shame you don't even have video of the old me."

"Well, it's your own fault for asking your assistant to erase all the data if he should feel he was dying. You should have arranged for some kind of back-up."

L said, "That does seem rather stupid, and I can't believe I would have been that stupid. I'm certain I would have created a secret cache of data. Perhaps it exists to this day and I'll find it. Your records of the early part of the Kira case are very inadequate. I suppose it is time-consuming to type everything in again from memory, but if I could understand all the events from the beginning, perhaps I could solve the case right now."

Light said, "Matsuda volunteered to type it all in again, and it's very difficult to say 'no' to him."

L jumped up and tapped at the book once more. He said, "Please? Just take it down and hold it open."

Light got a little footstool, brought the book down and held it open to the first page for L, quickly flipping through the first five pages as L speed-read each one.

"Yes," L said, "I want it. Even though it says I'm an arrogant jerk."

L tilted his head to the side and probed at his lower lip with a finger.

"Although," L said, "that could be due to your actions, since an outsider would have no method of distinguishing between us."

Before Light could think of a reply, L's gaze had been caught by some magazines and newspapers and he began begging for those to be added to the growing pile Light was lugging around.

 _That could be dangerous. I have no idea whether they've snuck a very bad article into the back of one of those things. And yet, I can't let L catch me obviously policing his information flow._

Light said, "I'm not sure if I can afford all these books."

"For the Kira case, I know you keep a great deal of your funding in reserve, and I also know that because of the secrecy you don't have to send itemized financial reports to your higher-ups. Put it down as a business expense. Helping me is helping the Kira case. Actually, you should also use those funds to pay for someone to fix the internet. I could do plenty more research-"

"I can fix it myself. It would be silly to call someone."

L said, "Your pride is going to get you in trouble, Light. Trust me on this. It would be better for you to get rid of it."

Light's stomach clenched and a chill ran from the base of his spine to his head, making his scalp prickle.

 _No, calm down. He still doesn't know anything. He's not faking his amnesia. He couldn't be faking it._

L said, "Are you sure there aren't any books about shinigami?"

Light breathed evenly, waiting for a too-close customer to pass, and then said, "There aren't nonfiction books, just fiction. For the biggest batch of it, see everything on the far wall with 'Bleach' on the spine. It has almost nothing to do with what you are, though."

 _Perhaps I should invest in a complete set up to the latest volume. It might keep him safely occupied while my attention is elsewhere. Yes, that's it. I need a great deal more distractions of every kind. Perhaps I can even turn him into an otaku._

Light ended up leaving with everything L had suggested, barely able to carry it, plus he arranged with a store manager to special-order a number of complete sets of the most time-consuming and addictive anime and manga he could think of. All would arrive in the mail soon. He briefly wondered if Near was monitoring his purchases and smiled at the thought of Near's confusion.

No clue could be drawn from a sudden surge in cake, anime, manga and books, but Near might waste a lot of time trying to figure it out. That would be positively delightful.

When they got home, L went on an hours-long reading binge, hanging the books and magazines in front of his face in that peculiar finger-and-thumb grip Light had become so familiar with. Light wanted to monitor L's reading, but that grip plus L's very large wings made it impossible to read over L's shoulder without being completely obvious about it.

L only stopped his binge three times. Once, for an additional sexual encounter in which L tried very much to be on top but failed. The second time, to get Light to call Misa and convince her to spend a few more days in Hawaii, and the third time, to point out an advertisement in one of the magazines that included a photo of Tokyo's skyline.

L's finger landed on a very familiar skyscraper nestled among the others and he said, "Light, what building is this?"

Light's heart skipped a beat.

 _No, he's not remembering, he's not remembering._

Light forced out a little laugh and said, "Oh, you must have seen that somewhere in our files? That's the headquarters you built. We lost the rights to use it years ago. It's currently tangled in a legal quagmire. Several companies all have conflicting ownership claims, plus it turns out the building severely violates zoning laws and would have to have major renovations before it could be legally occupied. However, since it's built like a bunker made to withstand a nuclear attack, remodeling it alone, besides paying the zoning fines and the legal fees, would probably be more than it's worth."

L mused, "So, it's empty?"

"Yes."

"We need to go there. Perhaps I will remember, or... or maybe my stash of additional data is there, or some clue to finding it."

Light said, "We searched everywhere. There's nothing. Watari erased it all. Besides, we can't get in. Securing the legal right to go in would take months at least and might cost us dearly by pulling us into the court proceedings. The building doesn't have electricity, so even if the equipment still works, we can't turn it on and get past the security measures."

L said, "I'm sure I could break a hole somewhere to enter. Perhaps I could pull off a door, or fly to the roof-"

"I draw the line at breaking and entering. That's a very serious crime and completely immoral."

"But it's my building," L said, "surely I can break into my own building if I want to? I don't see anything wrong with that."

"No!"

L pouted and said, "It isn't fair for you to limit my movements and my decisions. I can make you go. I could wait until night and then fly there, carrying you. You only have to be in the vicinity while I break in. You don't have to help if it makes you uncomfortable."

 _He's going to force this, isn't he? The bastard!_

Light sighed and said, "If I can't convince you not to, then give me some time to scout out the area and get the proper supplies. It won't help you very much if we attract the cops and I get arrested."

"Then you'll get everything arranged as soon as possible?"

"Yes."

L sank back into his reading material, and Light began to have a very bad feeling that subtly intensified as time went on. It didn't help that L was apparently no longer bothering to sleep, lurking about. Every time Light woke up during the night, L was awake and doing something.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I had intended to get more plot into this chapter, but as I wrote it out according to the outline, it ended up being much longer than I thought it would be, and so I've shunted some of that intended chapter 5 material to chapter 6 instead.

Yuri is a character that I don't see in Death Note fanfics very often, which kind of surprises me since Light leaves her alive with one of the most damning clues possible. It seems to me that if L had gotten his hands on Yuri at the right time, the entire case could easily go off in some direction other than canon. Since going off in some direction other than canon is the point of a lot of fanfiction, and since L would probably be considerably more likely to live if he got evidence from Yuri, this makes me wonder why Yuri doesn't get used in fanfics more often.


	6. Awakening

**CHAPTER 6: Awakening**

Without Misa to keep him occupied in the back rooms, L was more of a bother during the workday than ever before. He spent most of his time in the investigation room, perching on the back of this chair or that, or occasionally practicing his flying. He liked to jump up to the ceiling, cling there by his arms, then drop and try to hover. He was getting closer and closer to a true hover, though his technique was more of a short cycle back and forth rather than Ryuk's motionless hanging in the air.

Nearly all the time, L was annoyingly talkative and asking questions. Light couldn't directly reply in front of the other investigators, but L was already finding little ways to enforce communication, such as saying, "Put your hand on your coffee cup now if you agree with me."

L also went into some particularly ridiculous-sounding dirty talk in an attempt to convince Light of the merits of a bathroom quickie. It wasn't at all convincing and almost made him laugh, but then he nearly changed his mind when L invisibly slipped a wet tongue into his ear and laved it sensuously while Light attempted to have a perfectly normal conversation with Ide. It wasn't quite worth it, though. There was the risk of being heard, or of someone wondering why Light Yagami was taking so long in the bathroom.

The arrival by mail of numerous sets of anime and manga in the afternoon didn't turn into the distraction Light had hoped. L was seemingly always at his shoulder or just behind him, always with new deductions, questions, or pronouncements to make.

A particularly alarming "conversation" concerned an anti-Kira article L had found in one of those magazines.

L crouched on the counter where Light was sorting through a stack of reports and said, "I've placed the magazine in the bathroom, in case you care to read it yourself. Let me summarize. It is about scientists changing their mind about the telltale signs of 'shaken baby syndrome' which is what it is called when a caretaker shakes a baby and then the baby dies. Certain physical signs found during autopsies used to be considered absolute proof that the baby had been shaken. Scientists now say that these sure signs are not sure. They can also be caused by short accidental falls, blood disorders, or medical issues with the internal regulation of inter-cranial pressure."

 _That is the absolute worst type of article for him to stumble on! Now he's going to think it's Kira's job to spare baby-killers just in case some technicality might get them off the hook years later._

L continued with, "During the years Kira has been in operation, many parents and babysitters were convicted of murder based on this evidence that seemed certain, and of course Kira killed them. Now some are being exonerated posthumously, but they can never be brought back to life. If Kira simply waited to kill his victims for five years, most of these people would still be alive and in prison, and could be released as soon as their cases were re-tried."

Light shuffled through the stack of reports he was looking over, then pulled one out, and, as if he were merely jotting some notes relevant to the case on it, wrote, "Kira's mission doesn't allow for what-ifs that can never be predicted ahead of time. It would be pointless for Kira to judge criminals at a much later date than their convictions, as much of the impact of the deaths would be lost."

"That is what I think Kira would say," L replied, "and I can see that Kira wants to be a vast improvement to the pre-Kira justice systems. This means that anything which made his reign too similar to those other justice systems might prove threatening to his sense of self-importance."

 _That's not what L was supposed to draw from that!_

L added, "But I'm not trying to profile Kira at the moment. I am trying to sort out my own feelings on the matter. Is Kira right or wrong? That is something I must settle in my own mind. I think, from seeing these severe limitations to Kira's scheme, I am highly doubtful about Kira. I do not think Kira is likely to be a force for good."

Light paged through the report he was holding, and at the bottom of another page he wrote, "Thought it was about solving the case. I can really only quote numbers. The vast amount of crime reduction must be weighed against the rare and unusual instances of non-criminals suffering from side effects. Any other weighing of the matter is based purely on ethics, which are always a matter of opinion."

"Opinion is difficult too," L said, "since Kira curtails world opinion. Societies are not allowed to vote to decide how severely they should punish their own criminals. Why is democracy considered good in all ways but one? In the matter of crime, the world must bow to a dictator. It doesn't seem like justice."

 _I can't push him too far just now, or he'll start thinking I'm Kira. I'll need to supply better books to him, and in the meantime I'll undermine his self-confidence._

Light flipped through a few more pages and wrote, "More study is needed. Those who are inexperienced often jump to hasty conclusions and then regret it later."

L leaned closer, one hand on Light's shoulder, and said, "You are correct. It is perhaps the emotional impact of the article that swayed me, thinking about all those parents who were blamed and then killed when they were not murderers. I should try to hold my opinion neutral until I can form one that is based on a fuller evaluation of the situation."

After a pause, L said, "Could my evaluation of the situation be used to help catch Kira? I was thinking that a public broadcast could be made, aimed at Kira from L. It could either make Kira more cooperative or it could anger him and cause him to be more likely to make a mistake."

L dropped down, standing just in front of Light, half in and half out of the counter.

L said, "We could broadcast something like: even if Kira is correct, the world doesn't actually need Kira. More severe laws could do exactly what Kira does now, but more efficiently and with better oversight. Asking one human to make all these decisions perfectly, about these life or death matters, this is simply a guarantee of failure. We could offer a deal to Kira. If all countries will rewrite their laws dealing with criminal punishment to the level of severity Kira uses, then Kira would agree to stop killing, and executions would thereafter be carried out by governments instead. This would also lead to better timing for the deaths. Kira would no longer kill criminals just before they were about to turn in their accomplices, or kill them before their children could say good-bye to them."

Light wrote, "Kira doesn't listen to appeals like that. It wouldn't matter. And he does not become provoked."

"In the early part of the case he did," L said, "I suppose he's learned his lesson by now."

Light got up, asked Matsuda to begin brewing some more coffee, and put away his stack of reports, hoping that L would get the message that the conversation was over.

L paced Light as he moved to another chair, in front of a computer, and then L jumped up lightly to crouch on the exact top of the computer's monitor, wings spread wide.

L said, "Light, listen to me. Kira is only a human. He cannot be a shinigami, because any shinigami who cared about humans and used a death note to try to protect their lives from murderers would have already crumbled to dust. Kira will die, and his death must throw the world into incredible chaos. Eroded justice systems that were structured merely for functioning with Kira would fail to function properly without him. Even if Kira is correct, his 'perfect world' is rather selfish and pointless if it is as short-lived as a portion of one human's lifespan and if he refuses to work in cooperation with the rest of the world."

 _It's almost as if he's trying to convince me personally, as if he's no longer talking about a hypothetical broadcast._

L leaned down, his face hovering above Light's own, and said, "Some of the things you say... you are oddly defensive about Kira. It is always indirect, though, as if you wish to hide it."

After a long pause, L said, "Yes, my suspicions are beginning to settle on you. I think you could be Kira."

Light tried to do nothing but stare at his computer screen and the data it displayed, but he could feel one pinky finger twitching and his legs, under the table, were starting to shake just slightly. It felt like history repeating itself all over again, the humiliation of the To-Oh entrance ceremony, and the shock of L's accusation after the tennis game.

 _No! He can't get to me like this. It is either some test, or some subconscious part of himself that is running his thoughts along the same lines as when he was alive. It's meaningless!_

Light focused hard and brought every bit of himself under control. He knew his face was serene and his body was still.

 _I will get the upper hand again. It is time to move to an environment where he can't harass me so easily, and then I can put him in his place. All I need to do is to emphasize how all of the task force members have been Kira suspects, to spread his suspicion more widely._

Light got up and went to the bathroom. L trailed along behind him. The accursed magazine was there, sitting next to the sink and open to the article. Light entertained fantasies of killing the journalist.

Before Light could say a word, L closed the door behind them and said, "Look under the sink."

Light crouched down and found his cellphone there, lounging among Misa's lotions and body sprays.

 _Nobody could hear his voice. At worst, he could text, but he doesn't know anyone's number and I've disabled the directory look-up feature._

Light said, "What? Did you steal this?"

"Yes, I did. Yesterday, as you were leaving, Yuri had her phone number written on a piece of paper and she tried to pass it to you. You did not notice this, and she was not looking down, so I took the paper from her hand and I suppose she thought it was you. So that others would not see a floating piece of paper, I placed it in your pocket, and then I retrieved it later. I've been texting Yuri, pretending to be you."

 _That bastard! Stealing and lying! He's full of his old habits!_

L continued with, "I had read in one of the articles that people who undergo traumatic experiences sometimes lose memories of those events, so I used this excuse and told her that I actually remembered almost nothing of the incident and requested that she tell me everything."

There was a tiny hint of a smirk on L's face and Light wanted to punch it as hard as he could.

L said, "You obtained Raye Penber's name before his death, in a bus hijacking incident that seemed engineered to convince him to reveal his name. The hijacker died."

"I'm not Kira. All of us here have incidents from our past, incidents that suspicious or worse. It's my conclusion that Kira was trying to cast suspicion on many people associated with the NPA in order to draw L close to the NPA and reveal himself. It worked, and you died. That was simply Kira's ploy during that stage of the case."

"And yet," L mused, "you are defensive and you refuse to tell me every last detail about the Kira case, especially the early portion of it. I am forced to pry the information out of you bit by bit, or I have to do my own investigation."

L wasn't giving much room, crowding Light against the wall. The urge to shuffle further backwards was almost overwhelming, but Light wouldn't do it. He knew he'd stand his ground, even though L was only inches from his face, breathing directly on him, nostrils flared.

Light said, "Humans suffer from trauma more strongly than you do. Difficult times, such as being accused of being Kira, are very painful to discuss and often nearly impossible. To give you a detailed account of everything right now, it might send me into a nervous breakdown."

L said, "Light, I'm not going to accept any more evasive answers about this. Do you agree with Kira or not?"

"In my heart, I think Kira could be right. But this thought is not a crime or any kind of evidence! Even Matsuda thinks this way, and large segments of society do too."

L backed off slightly and said, "You're correct, Light. There is no proof yet that you're Kira. I am inexperienced and perhaps I am too quick to judge. More study is needed. I believe it would be a good idea for me to text Near and ask him some questions. I know the secret number you use to contact him and-"

"You don't understand what you're doing! You could mess up the entire investigation if you talk to Near. Remember how I said I might get killed for a suspicion? That applies to Near and the SPK too. Besides, it won't work. That number isn't good any more. It has changed by now."

L looked at the floor, head hanging, and said, "I wouldn't say anything that would cause suspicion for you, Light. I simply need more answers. Near might know about L's past. Please have pity on me. My curiosity is too much to endure."

"I'll buy you more books soon, and we'll do also more work on the investigation. You're young and new. This is the way little kids are, with so many questions that the adults cannot keep up. I know it isn't your fault you're like this, L, but you can be patient, can't you? If you must fill up your hours and you've run out of nonfiction, start on the fiction. There's plenty more of it."

L sighed and then suddenly Light was swept into a hug with wings and arms at once. L said against Light's ear, "I'm sorry. You give good advice, even if you might be Kira. I feel as if I can't stay still, as if my boredom and curiosity will eat me alive. Is this loneliness?"

Light squeezed L back and said, "It's a common problem. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of you as much as I can and we'll combat it together."

"Do you want to have sex now?"

"No, the others will wonder where I am. I need to go back immediately. Do you think you can stay out of trouble?"

"Yes. Thank you, Light."

There wasn't much trouble from L for the rest of the work day, though Light didn't like the look he kept getting. It was that same blank stare with the weight of those secret calculations that Light simply knew were going on in L's head. It was purely unsettling, difficult to adjust to after having so many years without it.

As soon as the last man, Aizawa, went home for the day, L dropped from the ceiling to land right in front of Light and said, "Now we should plan for the trip. It would be completely dark inside the building without electricity, yes? So all we really need is a couple of flashlights. We don't even need rope, since I can carry you up or down any wall."

Light came up with excuses to try to delay the trip at least a few days, but L forced him to explain every possible problem and then expertly deflected each problem with a suggested solution. L even made him look up the police schedules for patrolling each area of Tokyo, to be sure of the best time of getting inside.

Then it was merely a case of waiting for darkness to arrive and working on various plans, both overt and subtle, as well as ordering a large number of new books for L that would arrive soon. Light developed a series of plans for dealing with L's unruliness, entirely worked out in his mind. There were ways of pushing back at L if he pushed too far, including at the very least cake deprivation and, at the most, forcing him into a complete impasse where he would be helpless to make a significant move in any direction.

It would require revealing certain facts, though, along with a bit of cruelty that might make L less friendly, so the most extreme plan would be best to hold in reserve for emergencies.

When darkness fell, there was first an extended trip around the city by taxi, bus and subway, going in circles and using all sorts of tricks to throw off any possible followers and then to confirm that none were there.

Once everything was safe, they were deposited close to the old investigation headquarters and walked the rest of the way. It was a business district with few restaurants or social venues, so the streets were about as empty as they could be. People on the sidewalk were widely spaced.

After circling the building several times and L scouting by popping through the walls, but announcing he could see nothing in the blackness within, L decided that the best place to break in would be on the roof. Anything at street level would be too noticeable for the sparse pedestrians. Looking up at the sheer height of the building, Light reluctantly agreed and L grabbed him under the arms, crouched down, and then jumped into the air.

It was horrible. Being carried by L was like the worst amusement park ride ever. Light had to close his eyes to keep from losing his lunch, and even then, the bottom seemed to drop out of his stomach, and he wanted to scream, and every instinct he had told him he was going to die, until at last the sharp wind of travel stopped blowing in his face and Light felt a graveled roof crunching under his shoes.

He sank onto it gratefully and opened his eyes just as L's hands disengaged. L was swooping ahead to the door that led within, going right through it and then back out several times as Light closed the distance.

When Light arrived, L said, "I suspect this was built to be difficult to unlock even from the inside. I don't have the patience for it. You'd best stand well away in case there is shrapnel."

The moment Light had taken cover, L kicked the metal wall beside the door a couple of times, bending it inward, and then placed both hands in the widened crack he'd created and ripped the door off entirely.

The interior of the building was a ragged, pitch-dark hole that slowly began to glow a dim red, illuminating a long hallway. It looked like an entrance to hell.

Light said, "No! This is impossible! We removed the back-up generators before we closed it down for the last time."

"Obviously," L said dryly, "there are additional generators that are hidden from you, and that would only be triggered under special circumstances."

There was nothing to see except the metal walls and floor, dust, and that red glow. L walked in and Light followed. The air inside smelled thick and stale, almost painful to breathe, the dust tickling in Light's throat. There was another door up ahead, with a glowing panel on it for scanning palm-prints and beside it a keypad and a retina-scanner.

L said, "Since I have broken in, it is possible that I will have triggered traps of some sort. I do not think it is wise for either of us to put our hands or eyes on those things. I will go ahead solidly and if anything happens, it will happen to me instead of you."

L became corporeal, marked by him beginning to leave bare footprints in the thick dust of the floor. Light ran to a nearby closet and got a broom, brushing out his own footprints and L's as they proceeded. Just in case Near or somebody else was drawn to investigate, it wouldn't be good to leave personalized clues.

When he got to the next door, L ripped it off as well, provoking additional little yellow lights scattered here and there at intervals along the ceiling to turn on and pulse, not as bright as the red glow of the emergency illumination, but somehow making the scene slightly less eerie.

After that, it was an exhausting march downward, spiraling and spiraling through the maze of the building, L thoroughly checking out every single room, hallway, piece of machinery and closet on the way down. L discovered a few secret rooms that had no apparent doors leading into them, but seemed to find nothing satisfying in them.

L radiated aggression and Light hung back. It didn't help Light's sense of apprehension that L violently tore up every door that got in his way. Seeing him like that, displaying the full fury of his supernatural strength, led to unpleasant imaginings that Light had to force out of his mind.

All the time, Light was thinking of that last room they'd get to, the most difficult room to get to from either entrance, especially with the elevator refusing to work. It was the safest and most important room of all, the one where ninety-five percent of the work was done, the room where L had died. Light almost wanted to send L ahead by himself and avoid it, but that wouldn't be good. If L started remembering, he needed to be guided and coddled every step of the way, to ensure the maximum loyalty no matter what might be revealed.

When they got there, walking down those glass steps without a railing at one side of the huge room, L's entire body language changed, tensing. He stopped on the steps and stared, gazing over and over the red-tinted room.

L said, "I have an image in my mind, of an old man with a mustache. It is snowing and I am very small. I hold his hand and in front of us, there is a building with crosses on top."

His voice sounded lost and afraid.

 _It's not a problem if he remembers. I will convert him into a Kira supporter. My plans will give me enough time to do that._

L jumped off the stairs and flew down to the front center of the room. The chairs had been removed years ago, but the computer monitors and the long counter were all still there. Light swept their footprints away as he hurried to join L, where he truly, truly did not want to be.

In a puff of dust, L dropped to the floor and lay down just where he'd died, staring at the ceiling, wings spread. Light had an absurd image in his head of children making snow-angels.

"Hold me," L said.

Light replied, "It's too traumatic. This is not good."

Light was shocked at hearing the shake in his own voice.

L insisted, "Hold me, or we won't leave."

Light approached, feeling as if a giant trap was about to spring on him. Chills ran up and down his back as he assumed the position that he knew L wanted, that he knew L must be remembering. It was almost exactly the same scene as it had been years ago, except for the missing chairs, the dust, and L's slightly altered body. Even the red back-up lights lent to the sense of history repeating itself. It was sickly fascinating, Light's heart thudding in his chest so hard he wondered if L could hear the thumps of it.

Looking down, Light saw L's eyelashes were wet.

Light realized he had an erection and tried to shuffle his hips and lean over more so L wouldn't see.

"Smile for me," L said.

"No. You don't understand this-"

L reached up and twisted Light's lips into a crude imitation of a smile. As L held the "smile" in place, L's other hand went to the center of his chest and he said, "It was the worst pain I had ever experienced, right here. I'm sure of it."

L's hands fell to the floor and his head flopped back. He felt so dead and nerveless that Light shuddered.

"Watari died," L said flatly, "all data deletion."

Breaths moved in and out of Light. He waited, his expectations growing worse and worse.

"You killed both of us," L said.

"No," Light said, "Rem killed you, and I killed Rem, to avenge you-"

L was suddenly springing up and all in one motion almost too quick to believe, Light found himself pinned against the far wall, Light's feet dangling above the floor, L's hands at Light's neck and shoulder.

L said, "I could tear you to pieces."

"And you would die for it."

L coldly said, "I know."

Those large eyes, always so perceptive, so knowing, were boring relentlessly into Light. He couldn't escape the gaze.

Light said, "If I am Kira, and you kill me, we'll die together and the Kira who is out there will continue unhampered. You'll never have the chance to truly find and stop Kira. You can't torture me into cooperating, because any serious injury to a human will kill you, and you have no idea where the boundary might be drawn between a minor injury and a serious one."

"I have already thought of this."

L's voice had never been colder. Light squirmed in the iron-strong grasp, trying to get comfortable, trying to not have chills running up his spine.

Light said, "Did you also think that if I'm Kira, then I would have set up a trap to kill all the task force members if I'm placed under heavy suspicion or taken into custody? It is not worth it for you to reveal anything that would make the task force believe I'm Kira, or to get me arrested by Near's group."

"Yes. Of course there are hostages. Kira loves to hide behind others, doesn't he?"

It was all Light could do to avoid rising to the bait, to avoid reacting with anger and a direct admission of being Kira.

Instead, Light said, "We're at an impasse, if I'm Kira. You have nothing to gain from acting against me."

"Then, this means you are not my enemy, Light."

 _What? I've converted him? Is this a trick?_

L continued with, "Killing you is pointless, and I am not fond of killing, anyway. Turning you in is also pointless. Those stray death notes are the real enemy. All I must do is to locate them in such a way that I can destroy all of them at once, and then Kira will be utterly defeated, with no hope of ever returning. Unlike with an ordinary criminal, the very mental essence of Kira will be gone."

L let go and Light dropped to the floor, rubbing his neck and glaring.

 _There's no way L would be able to actually do that. He doesn't know how flawless my plan is this time, so flawless that even a hostile shinigami can't do anything worse than inconvenience it a bit._

L said, "What's wrong, Light? Don't you think it's fair? If you destroy large portions of my memory, I'll destroy large portions of yours. It's an eye for an eye."

Light said, "I don't know what you think you're going to do. How will this change anything? We'll both investigate Kira side by side. The result is the same either way."

L stalked to the counter that ran the length of the room below the multiple monitors, and hopped up there, crouching, wings folded behind him, a finger in his mouth.

He said, "You forget that I have all the advantages in this situation except for the full use of my memory, and even that may return in time. I'm always watching you, I don't need to sleep and I'm physically stronger than you."

"I could stop buying cake for you. Your body will get tied up into knots."

L swooped forward, alighting just in front of Light, grabbed his hips, swung him around and pushed him forward. Light took a forced step to keep from falling. L pushed again and kept going, walking Light along by grasping his hips and pushing all the way to the counter. Then L grabbed Light's hand and forced his fingers to make various movements against the counter.

"See?" L said, "I can walk you around like a puppet. I can force you to the store, write down an order using your hand, and pay with your money. If you struggle much, you'll just end up looking insane or revealing too much to Kira's enemies. Now, I will tell you what you're going to do to provide the resources I need to locate all the notebooks."

"No!"

"Did you forget that I'm capable of screaming for hours at a time? Light, I can make you quite miserable without any chance of breaking a rule."

"Nothing will change no matter what you do. It's a futile quest to begin with."

In a cool, soft voice that was somehow even more terrifying for its calm, L said, "I could reach directly through your clothing and bring you to orgasm with my hands or my mouth while the others watched, holding you down so you couldn't get away."

"That's... that's not right! That's a crime."

"Light, you don't have the moral high ground in this situation, so stop pretending that you do. Educating me of what sex is by performing the act on me, that was morally dubious, yes, extremely dubious. You are very lucky that I wanted it. Now be quiet and listen to my plan."

 _Well, he's an idiot if he's going to simply tell me his plan. I may as well indulge him._

"Go ahead," Light said.

L said, "Using your authority as the current L, I will secure an additional team of investigators and conduct my own investigation independent of your own. Every part of my investigation will be set up with the utmost secrecy, and I will warn everyone involved that even L must not be given the identities of this new team. I will lead them from a distance, through the computers. You will be physically near me as I investigate, of course, but I will restrain you and place several walls between us at those times, so that you will know as little as possible. I'll work the night shift, you'll work the day shift while I observe everything you do, and one of us will win."

 _So, he's only proposing a battle of wits? That's easy. It'll be his investigation against mine, again, and I'll prevail. I'm used to it._

Light said, "I still think it's pointless, but I'll accept it."

"Good," L said, and held out his hand.

Light shook the offered hand, feeling very strange, as if he'd just been deeply into the experience of watching a horror movie and someone had abruptly changed the channel.

"I'll win," L said, "I am justice."

Light had a sudden image of L dressed as the statue for the personification of justice, and he wanted to laugh.

L said, "Let's go home quickly. I have the feeling that there is still some trap here. Could we fly directly back from this building's roof to your home roof?"

"No! We're taking a taxi."

"Very well," L said, and so they went up to the roof, and L took Light on another stomach-sickening flight down to street level. All the way home, L was unusually well-mannered and polite. Light was almost expecting some kind of outburst or sudden trick and he watched L warily, yet nothing happened. The tension was almost palatable by the time they walked into the apartment.

It was still empty, nobody there.

"Come," L said, and wandered towards the bedroom.

Light followed, expecting a sudden ambush, or for L to bring up another article and start an argument about it. Instead, L almost gently pushed Light into the bed, crawling on top of him and kissing him right on the mouth, the bandages all over L's body suddenly loose and revealing. L's fingers were flying over the buttons of Light's shirt, undressing him fast and peeling back the fabric.

Light muttered, "What? You still want to-"

L replied, "Yes, I do."

"Why?"

Little nibbling kisses trailed over Light's shoulder and then chest. He shivered under them.

L said, "You want to as well, don't you?"

"Yes."

A hand palmed Light's growing erection through the confines of his trousers.

L whispered, "Then, why not?"

 _Why not, indeed?_

Light gave in to the delicate touches, to L's soft hands gently peeling away his clothing. As he lay under L and stroked those beautiful wings and let L do things and do things until Light was at last coaxed into a magnificent, shuddering climax, he couldn't help but think of how perfect it all was.

It seemed right that the competition between them had resumed. Interacting with L was something that Light had missed. Having a worthy enemy who was on the verge of being defeated put excitement and meaning into life. It had been so boring in the years without L, more boring than Light had been willing to admit to himself at the time. He could see that, now. That was why he'd made the few little slip-ups that had led Mello and Near to be so hot on his trail.

L's previous words echoed through Light's mind:

 _I feel as if I can't stay still, as if my boredom and curiosity will eat me alive. Is this loneliness?_

It was good to have an enemy, to keep that enemy close, to use him perfectly. There was no plan that could be better than this one.

Light snuggled deeply into L's arms, feathers all around him, feeling the warmth of that strange almost-human body, smelling L's unique new scent. He felt masterful, capable of anything.

L leaned over Light and sweetly, threateningly, whispered, "Every time Misa attempts to have sex with you, I will be watching and commenting. She doesn't have the brazenness to fuck in front of me, so you'll never have sex with her again. I'm too selfish to share."

Light sighed and his heart agreed. There was something very wonderful about at last being freed of Misa's unwanted demands.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

There is one more chapter to this fic. You might think there is only one way to wrap up a fic with a set-up like this within one chapter, but I'm hoping to surprise you by introducing some unusual elements.

The stuff about shaken baby syndrome was based on some articles I found that are several years old.

I also wanted to say that Ruin Takada contacted me about a petition/cause that Death Note fans are gathering force behind: to get fan fiction dot net to add "Yamamoto" to the drop-down list of selectable Death Note characters. He's a minor character who goes to high school with Light. Some even more minor characters do already appear on the drop-down list, so it's only fair if Yamamoto would too.

If you want to help with this, email an FFN admin according to the procedures for adding a new character, or visit Ruin Takada's profile on FFN to see if there's anything else you can do.


	7. Epilogue: Sleeping

**Epilogue: Sleeping**

Light was not sure exactly why his life had changed, but there was no denying it had. Absolutely everything was different. If he had been older, he knew he would have labeled it a mid-life crisis. If he'd been at all interested in religion, he knew he would have called it a spiritual experience. Whatever it was, it confused and scared the hell out of him.

Old priorities became meaningless almost overnight, while new habits and thoughts entered his life in strange and unexpected ways. The first and most obvious change was with Misa. Very suddenly, Light simply didn't know why he had put up with her for so many years.

It was wrong to use a woman, to take advantage of her feelings, and then to just throw her away. Light knew that and he tried to hold to his morals with a fierce determination, yet everything he did with Misa felt like a meaningless burden. Out of guilt and a sense of responsibility, he tried to make it work. The strain of keeping it up, of going through the motions, only became worse and worse.

They even endured the shame of visiting relationship counselors, but that didn't help in the slightest. Light's heart knew it was over. No, worse than that, he knew it had never actually begun. For some reason he couldn't fathom, he'd gone along with Misa's wishes for much longer than was reasonable or polite. Faking a relationship for about six years was going far beyond any level of politeness Light could imagine himself doing, and yet he'd somehow done it.

A mere two months after Light's big life change, as he'd come to think of it, he'd dumped Misa and moved out of their apartment. He wasn't proud of it, and it had serious consequences, but he breathed easier. Misa stalked him rather badly at first, but eventually the stalking softened to a tolerable level. It never really ended. Just when he would be thinking it was over, Misa would pop up again, in the form of harassing packages mailed to his workplace, or his mother's voicemail being filled with hours of drunken ramblings.

After the big life change, Light also found himself being interested in family time in a way he hadn't been for years. He supposed that maybe it was because of the Kira case ending. The the deaths had all mysteriously halted, and soon after the NPA didn't want to pay salaries for six officers to do nothing other than comb over old Kira data. All the detectives were re-assigned to normal caseloads.

Why had he become so distant from his family in the first place? Why had his habitual thoughts and actions become so disdainful? It seemed wrong and shameful. To make up for years of neglect, he threw himself into family dinners, special outings with his father, and lots of hours caring for his sister, pushing her wheelchair around and feeling immensely guilty for neglecting her and for not feeling sorry before.

Perhaps his heart had frozen, caught up in the cruelties of the Kira case, and it hadn't been able to unfreeze until the Kira case had dissipated.

Yes, that had to be it.

But there was also another element in his life, one that grew more and more important with time. It was a thing that nobody could see, a thing that claimed to be L's ghost. Light could feel it physically, though, and sometimes the thing let him see it indirectly, like the time when it dumped an entire bag of powdered sugar over itself. The shape of its face and body did resemble L, and its mannerisms were similar, and it seemed to know many things that L should know, but there were bandages covering its body like a mummy, and wings on its back.

Was it an angel? Was it a ghost? Was it a shinigami? Those were the three possibilities that constantly ran through Light's mind once he'd come to accept that it wasn't a mental illness, a product of his own deranged mind. This L-thing was certainly real, that was the only solid conclusion. It was shy around others, but it did affect things in ways that Light couldn't do himself.

The L-thing made Light reserve computers and electronic equipment especially for it, and it set up the business of being L, taking cases and communicating with the outside world through a program that converted typed words into a voice exactly like the original L's electronic scrambled voice. Light helped with the detective work, but the L-thing also did a great deal of work by itself, while Light was sleeping. It did not seem to need sleep.

Light couldn't quite believe that this "L" was a ghost. It seemed a hundred times more capable, solid and reliable than any report Light could track down about supposed real-world ghosts. If ghosts existed and could do such things, simply setting up a life again for themselves, it seemed that proof of that fact shouldn't be hard to obtain.

The idea of a shinigami made more sense. After all, there had been the shinigami Rem, associated with the Kira case. Light couldn't remember what she'd looked like. He supposed the events surrounding the deaths of L and Watari had been so traumatic that he'd driven large pieces of the memories out of his mind. However, he remembered plenty of conversations the others had had about her, and she supposedly had wings.

But the L-creature that Light shared his life with didn't like that idea.

Whenever Light asked, "L, are you a shinigami?," it would reply by writing or typing something such as, "No, I am a ghost. A shinigami is a monster that kills people. I am not a monster and I am not a killer. Therefore, I'm a ghost."

Was it an angel? That thought almost made Light laugh, though it wouldn't go away entirely. Perhaps it was something like the western idea of a guardian angel, determined to guide him along the proper path in life? The L-thing certainly had a lot of strong ideas about justice.

But when Light was writhing underneath it in bed, letting it do such pleasurable things to him, asking it for more and more, reveling in the boldness and shamelessness of the creature and loving every minute of it, he would think to himself:

 _No, this is certainly not an angel._

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, that's the very last chapter and I hope you liked it. I had a lot of the plot occur behind the scenes so that I could have a faux-complex storyline, where implied complexities are happening out of sight. We never find out what Light's supposedly perfect complicated plan was, the one that he needed so many death notes for. We also never find out exactly how L managed to get all those notebooks and destroy them. We only know that L did win somehow.

I did it that way because I'm lazy and I wanted to tell this particular story without adding many thousands of words to it just for the sake of plot. To tell the truth, I don't actually know how those off-screen plot points happened, because I didn't bother to figure them out. So, they are unknown to everyone.

I also decided that L would not like being labeled a shinigami, and that he would do something such as refusing to self-identify as one. So, since L was a human and died, which kind of meets the criteria for a ghost, and since he refuses to do what a shinigami does, which is to attempt to own a death note and kill people, he deduces that calling himself a ghost is a legitimate form of self-identification.


End file.
